


This Time is Different (I Really Think You Like Me)

by Impossibly_Izzy



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Falling in love with someone you're already married to, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I promise it's not just a big angst-fest, It's a bit sad and quite a lot happy, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-01-02 08:17:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21158504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impossibly_Izzy/pseuds/Impossibly_Izzy
Summary: When Amy wakes up with amnesia and the last thing she remembers is Thanksgiving 2013, she sets out to solve a mystery: why did she marry Jake Peralta?





	1. The Mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes.  
_'I don't know where I am  
I don't know where I've been  
But I know where I want to go'___

‘So, the last thing you remember is 2013?’ the doctor said.

Amy was struggling to breathe. She couldn’t figure out if it was anxiety restricting her airways, or if it was yet another side effect of the car accident she couldn’t remember being in.

‘2013,’ she choked out.

The doctor nodded. ‘This is what we call total retrograde amnesia,’ she said. ‘It’s very uncommon, but…’

Amy tried to take in what the doctor was saying, but all she could think about was _car accident _and _amnesia_ and _I know this is a shock to you, but it’s 2019_. There had been a constant stream of information since Amy woke up, and none of it was good.

‘There is something else,’ the doctor said. Amy could see from her face that it was more bad news. ‘You lost a pregnancy in the car accident. I’m sorry.’

‘I… oh.’

‘You will of course be referred for counselling, and we’ve already talked to your husband about making you an appointment with a memory specialist,’ the doctor continued.

‘My husband?’ Amy said. A nurse had come by earlier to bring Amy her glasses, but hadn’t mentioned who they were from. Amy had been too out of it to ask.

‘He’s waiting outside,’ the doctor said. ‘Do you feel ready to see him?’

Amy did not feel ready. Not ready to be in hospital, not ready to talk about memory specialists and miscarriages, not ready to be _married_. She just wanted this nightmare to end. ‘I guess.’

So the doctor left and Amy sat and waited for her mysterious husband to arrive. It felt like a first date with much higher stakes – as little as she wanted to hope, a part of her thought maybe seeing her husband could help her remember. It was infuriating, knowing she was married but not remembering a single thing about it. Amy wanted to scream with frustration, wanted to hit something, wanted to-

The door opened, and Amy’s irritating, childish desk mate walked in.

‘You got a haircut,’ she said.

Jake Peralta smiled at her weakly. ‘They said the last thing you remember was six years ago, so actually I’ve had several haircuts.’

It was much shorter on the sides, flopping in curls over his forehead. ‘It suits you,’ she said. She rubbed her eyes. She was clearly still woozy, complimenting Peralta like that.

He pulled up the seat at the side of her bed. ‘How are you?’ he said. ‘I mean. Obviously not good. They told me about all the – the amnesia and everything. But how do you feel?’

‘Why are you _here_?’ Amy asked. ‘They told me my husband was going to…’ She faltered. Oh no. But he couldn’t be – that didn’t make any _sense_.

Jake shook his head, smiling sadly. ‘Ames,’ he said. ‘_I’m_ your husband.’

‘No,’ she said. ‘_No_. That doesn’t make sense.’

‘I know,’ he said. He blinked hard, looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. He was trying not to cry – Amy had never seen Jake cry before.

But if they were married, she must have. She must have seen a thousand things, must have seen every emotion cross his face. Must have seen _something_ in him to make her love him.

‘Look.’ Jake took out his wallet and gave her his driver’s license. _Jacob Peralta-Santiago._

‘We double-barrelled our names?’ Amy said.

‘Why is that the part you’re focusing on?’

‘I don’t know,’ Amy said. Now she was the one who felt like crying. This piece of plastic was the proof that she had married her weird, childish co-worker, and she didn’t remember a thing about it.

‘Do you… want to ask me anything?’ Jake said.

‘I don’t know,’ Amy said. ‘I’m just… overwhelmed.’

_I can’t image loving you. I only just got to almost liking you. I don’t understand why six years have passed and we’re married and I just miscarried your child. I don’t understand what’s happening. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this._

‘That’s okay,’ Jake said. ‘I’m here, whatever you need.’

Amy forced a smile. ‘I’ve never heard you be so nice, Peralta.’

‘Hey, I’ve always been nice!’ Jake protested.

And then Amy remembered something. ‘Oh my god,’ she said. ‘Who won the bet?’

Jake burst out laughing. ‘You lose your memory and _that’s_ the first thing you want to know?’

‘That’s what you’d say, too!’

‘I won the bet,’ Jake said, still laughing.

‘You’d better not be lying to me,’ Amy said.

‘I swear it’s true,’ Jake said. ‘You almost won but I brought in a load of second-offence Johns.’

‘And you took me on a _date_?’

‘Yeah,’ he said. He was smiling – really smiling. ‘It was dumb, but it was fun. I think that was the first time I realised I liked you.’

It was still surreal, hearing him say things like that. ‘I think the last thing I remember is… Thanksgiving,’ Amy said. ‘It was a mess, but you made a really nice speech.’

‘I did,’ Jake said. ‘And I looked dope in that suit.’

Amy’s life was a stream of doctors and nurses and medical students, of scans and consultations and questions she couldn’t answer. And however many people she saw, none of them seemed to know what to do about her amnesia.

‘If this was a cartoon we could just bonk you over the head,’ Jake said. He visited her as often as he could and Amy didn’t try to stop him, but she was grateful for his long work hours. She didn’t think she could handle any more of his sad smiles and talk about how they were, apparently, in love.

‘Please don’t bonk me over the head,’ Amy said.

Eventually, her main doctor decided she could go home. She was recovered enough from the accident that she no longer needed constant supervision, left only with aches and bruises, and the small matter of having lost all memory of the last six years.

Jake brought her a pair of jeans and a top that Amy didn’t remember buying, but at least they smelled like her. She put in her contacts in the hospital bathroom, pulled her hair back into a ponytail, and scrutinised herself in the mirror. She had a cut above her eyebrow, nicks from the broken glass of her shattered windscreen, bruises. Everything was off, distorted. She didn’t feel like herself.

She looked away from the mirror before she started crying. Amy wasn’t a big crier normally, but since the accident everything had set her off. She went back to Peralta – to Jake, to her husband – and allowed him to drive her home.

She had been expecting some new, alien apartment, but that wasn’t what she got. She immediately recognised first the neighbourhood and then the building.

‘I never moved?’ she said, as she and Jake took the elevator up to her floor.

‘Nope,’ he said. ‘I wanted to move in with you. It was way better than my place.’

She didn’t know if she’d ever get used to Jake being so _nice_. He unlocked the apartment door, and Amy stepped inside.

It was the same as she remembered, and different. Same wallpaper, same carpets, same ornaments in their cabinets. But there was a new TV, bigger and flatter. New books on the shelves. A framed _Die Hard_ poster on the wall.

She walked around slowly, taking it in. There was a framed photo of her and Jake on their wedding day. On Amy’s wedding day. That she didn’t remember. To Jake Peralta.

He was in a tux, she was in a white lace dress. No veil, her hair loose. They had their arms around each other, glasses of champagne in their hands, heads thrown back in laughter. They looked happy, _so_ happy.

Before Amy knew it, she was sobbing.

‘_Hey_,’ Jake said. His hand hovered at her shoulder, like he didn’t know if he could touch her. ‘It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay, Ames.’

‘It’s _not_,’ she said. ‘It’s not okay!’

‘We’ll get through this,’ Jake said. ‘We always get through it.’

‘I don’t remember!’ Amy said. The tears ran down her cheeks, into her mouth. ‘I don’t remember getting through anything with you.’

‘I know,’ he said, still not quite touching her. ‘I’m so sorry – I’m trying to – I’m trying.’

He was crying too. And it was weird, because this was _Jake_, but Amy needed more than a hand waving over her shoulder right now. She barrelled into his chest, pressed her face into his plaid shirt. He wrapped his arms around her, stroked her hair.

‘I know, baby,’ he said. ‘I mean, Ames. I mean – sorry.’

He held her until she stopped crying, until her throat was sore and her nose was running and she felt like she didn’t have any tears left in her. She pulled away, embarrassed, and wiped her face on her sleeves.

‘Sorry,’ she said.

‘_Don’t_,’ Jake said, fiercely. ‘None of this is your fault.’

She glanced at him – his eyes were red and the shoulder of his shirt damp with her tears. He looked miserable, totally wrecked. She had never seen him like this.

‘The doctor said…’ Amy wasn’t sure how to say this – she and Jake hadn’t talked about it at all. ‘I was pregnant,’ she said. ‘I’m really sorry. I guess that’s extra hard for you.’

‘Yeah.’ Jake ran his hand through his hair. ‘It’s… yeah. But it was only the first trimester. We hadn’t even told anyone yet. And when they called me to say you’d been in an accident, I thought… Ames, I know this is weird. But I’m just glad to have you alive.’

Amy glanced at the wedding photo again, at them clinging to each other, looking delighted. ‘You really love me,’ she said.

‘I really do,’ Jake said, earnestly.

‘How?’

‘_How_?’ Jake laughed, weakly. ‘I don’t know. You made fun of me for years and I was like, noice.’

Amy shook her head. ‘God, I really need a cigarette right now.’

‘You quit smoking.’

Amy groaned. ‘Of course I did.’

Jake went to the kitchen and fished around in a drawer, coming back with a box of nicotine patches. ‘I know it’s not the same,’ he said. ‘But these might help, if you want them.’

Amy stuck a patch to her forearm, feeling the relief it brought almost immediately. ‘I think I’m just gonna go read,’ she said. ‘I need to… not think about all this.’

‘Cool, yeah, coolcoolcool,’ Jake said. ‘Tell me if you get hungry – we can order in, or I can cook something, whatever you want.’

‘You _cook_?’ Amy said.

Jake grinned. ‘Sometimes.’

‘Who _are_ you?’

Jake looked away, amused and red-eyed and happy and utterly wrecked all at once. ‘Tell me if you’re hungry.’


	2. Eyewitness Accounts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy meets some friends for a 'previously on' segment for her life.

When she woke up, alone in her familiar room, Amy had a blissful moment of normality. And then she opened her eyes and saw Jake’s things on the nightstand, Jake’s clothes strewn around the room, and everything flooded back.

Jake had slept on the couch. It was fine, he had said. He didn’t want to crowd her.

‘I can go somewhere else, if you want,’ he said, anxiously. ‘I’m sure Charles and Genevieve would-’

‘It’s fine,’ Amy said, thinking _I don’t know who Genevieve is. _‘Sleep on the couch.’

When she stepped tentatively into the kitchen, Jake was eating yogurt and granola.

‘I’ve never seen you being healthy before,’ she said.

He smirked. ‘I’m a changed man.’ He was dressed for work: tie, leather jacket, badge on a chain around his neck. ‘Will you be okay by yourself today?’

‘Yeah,’ Amy said. ‘I’ll just… get to know 2019, I guess.’

She felt calmer this morning, less like she was about to burst into tears at any moment. Still terrified, but she had been terrified for so long that she was becoming numb to it.

‘You’re not gonna like it.’ Jake dropped his bowl in the sink. ‘Oh my god, you don’t even know who the president is. Oh jeez. Maybe stay away from the news for now.’

‘Well now I _have_ to look,’ Amy said.

‘Rosa’s got today off,’ Jake said. ‘She really wants to see you, if you’re ready.’

‘Sure.’

_  
_Rosa’s hair was different too. She was dressed all in black, her lips defined in dark lipstick. ‘Sup,’ she said, like nothing weird was going on.

‘_Rosa_,’ Amy said.

‘I’ve missed you,’ Rosa said, stepping into the apartment. ‘Stupid hospital wouldn’t let me see you. Family only. But we _are_ family.’

‘We are?’

A smile tugged at the corner of Rosa’s mouth. ‘Sleuth sisters.’

Amy smiled too, a rare thing at the moment. ‘Did I finally get you to say that?’

‘Sometimes,’ Rosa said. ‘Coffee?’

‘Yes,’ Amy said. ‘I’ll-’

‘I’ll do it,’ Rosa led the way into the kitchen, started making coffee. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Mostly better,’ Amy said. ‘It’s just… the memory thing.’

‘Want me to catch you up?’ Rosa said. ‘Jake said the last thing you remember is 2013.’

‘Yeah,’ Amy said, with trepidation. ‘Go on.’

‘Okay,’ said Rosa. ‘Here’s everything you missed. You’re a Sargant-’

‘I _am_?’ Amy said, simultaneously delighted and outraged. ‘Why didn’t Jake tell me?’

She expected Rosa to come back with an insult against Jake, but she sighed and said, ‘This is really hard on him.’

‘Yeah,’ Amy said. ‘He looks so sad and I… feel so guilty. He thinks I’m this person that he’s in love with, and I feel like I don’t even _know_ that person.’

‘That sounds… really crap,’ Rosa said.

Amy laughed. Rosa’s presence was refreshing after so long with just Jake. ‘Yep. Okay, tell me what I missed.’

‘Terry’s a lieutenant.’ Rosa took two mugs out of the cupboard and poured their coffee. ‘Holt is still the captain – there were some times when he wasn’t, but he is now. Terry has another kid. Charles has a kid. Gina has a kid – with Charles’ cousin.’

Amy couldn’t keep up. ‘Charles’ cousin?’ She cradled the mug in her hands, holding its warmth against her chest.

‘Yeah.’ Rosa made a face. ‘Also, Charles and Gina are step siblings. But they had sex first.’

‘_What_?’

‘Don’t worry, none of us really understand it.’

‘What about you?’ Amy said. ‘Are you seeing anyone?’

Rosa never used to answer questions like that, but now she didn’t hesitate. ‘Jocelyn,’ she said. ‘Girlfriend. I’m bi, that’s something else that happened.’

‘I…’ Amy stared into her coffee. ‘I’ve missed so much.’

‘No,’ Rosa said, firmly. ‘You’re not a time traveller. You were here for all those things, you just don’t remember. I’ve been reading up, and things are gonna start coming back to you. You might not remember everything, but you haven’t just missed six years of your life.’

‘I really hope you’re right,’ Amy said.

Rosa sipped her coffee. ‘Do you want to know about anything else?’

‘Yeah,’ Amy said. ‘I get that a lot happened. But I still don’t understand why I married Jake.’

‘You dorks love each other.’

‘That’s what Jake says,’ Amy sighed. ‘But I don’t _understand_. I can’t imagine falling in love with the Jake I knew. I just… don’t get it.’

Rosa looked at her intensely. ‘So, what are you gonna do about that?’

‘What?’ Amy said. ‘What _can_ I do?’

‘It’s a puzzle, isn’t it?’ Rosa said. ‘You love puzzles. You love figuring things out. So: figure it out.’

Something inside Amy clicked into place. ‘You’re right!’ she said. ‘Oh my god, it’s a case!’

‘Heck yeah it is,’ Rosa said.

Amy was beaming, excited for the first time since her accident. ‘I’m gonna solve this case!’ she said. ‘Thanks for being my first witness. Maybe you could tell me some more stuff?’

‘I’m gonna help you,’ Rosa said. ‘The sleuth sisters are on the case. But when it comes to all the… feelings stuff, I don’t know if I’m the best person to help you.

‘But you _know_ us, Rosa!’ Amy said. ‘You know way more than I do.’

‘I’ll try,’ Rosa said. ‘But I know someone who’ll be better.’

Charles looked six years older than the last time Amy had seen him, but he was wearing the same tie.

‘I brought you snickerdoodles,’ he said, presenting Amy with a paper bag. ‘I thought that if something happened to _me_ and I couldn’t remember Jake, I would need snickerdoodles.’

‘Thanks, Charles.’ Amy took the bag and walked through to the living room where Rosa was waiting for them. ‘I do remember Jake, though. Just…’

‘Not the important stuff,’ Charles supplied, sinking onto the couch. Amy gingerly sat next to him. ‘Like when we got him out of prison, or when he used the Halloween heist to propose to you, or-’

‘Did you just say _Jake went to prison_?’ Amy said. How were there still so many things nobody had mentioned to her?

‘And Rosa,’ Charles said, seriously. ‘They were framed for bank robbery.’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Rosa said. ‘Forgot to say that.’

‘Okay, okay, I’m gonna save things like that for Terry and Captain Holt,’ Amy decided. They could probably be better relied on to give her the important facts. ‘I just wanted to talk to you about… my relationship with Jake.’

Charles let out a dreamy sigh. ‘I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that.’

So Charles was still weird in 2019. At least _some_ things hadn’t changed. ‘Okay…’ she said. ‘So, like, what happened? When did we change our minds about each other?’

‘Well, I don’t want to take _all_ the credit,’ Charles said. ‘But it was a little bit down to me.’

Amy ate one of the cookies from the bag and offered them to Charles. ‘Explain.’

He took the bag from her. ‘Well after he won the bet he took you on this elaborate date. Like, _really_ elaborate. You never got to see it, but he hired a _youth choir_.’

‘Of course he did,’ Amy said.

Rosa sat on the arm of the couch, leaning over Charles to grab one of the cookies. ‘Hey, gimme one of those.’ It sparked something in Amy’s memory.

‘Hey, what happened with you two?’ she said.

‘Huh?’ Charles said.

‘The last thing I remember, you were still trying to get Rosa to go out with you.’

‘Oh _yeah_.’ Rosa smiled at the memory – a proper smile, with teeth. ‘That was sweet.’

‘You think I’m sweet?’ Charles said.

‘Stop fishing for compliments,’ Rosa said, but there was a playful note in her voice.

‘You guys are so different,’ Amy said.

‘We’re all different,’ Charles said. ‘But we’re also the same as we were. I think everyone has the capacity to be harder or softer-’

‘Title of your sex tape,’ Rosa said.

‘See!’ said Amy. ‘That’s different! That’s such a Peralta joke. I mean, a Jake joke. I don’t even know what to call him.’

‘The sex tape jokes really took off after that Halloween,’ Charles said.

Amy shook her head, bewildered. ‘You were telling me about the bet?’

‘Right,’ Charles said. ‘So I said, Jakey, this is a lot of effort for a fake date – _I_ think you’re doing this because you like Amy.’

‘You were on all those pain meds,’ Rosa reminded him. ‘You kept saying you were ‘dropping truth bombs’ but some of it was bullshit.’

‘Yeah…’ Charles frowned. ‘After I got shot. Did I try to convince Sharon to leave Terry for me?’

Rosa snorted. ‘Probably.’

‘You got shot?’ Amy said.

‘Charles saved my life,’ Rosa said.

‘Okay.’ Amy decided not to ask any more about that – they had already got side-tracked enough. ‘So what happened with Jake?’

‘He insisted he wasn’t into you,’ Charles said. ‘But he _was_!’

‘And then you started dating Teddy,’ Rosa added.

‘Teddy from code camp?’

‘Yes,’ said Charles. ‘But he was never right for you, Amy. I knew all along that you and Jake would be adorable together. You two go together like venison and chocolate.’

Amy frowned. ‘Is that a good thing?’

‘Just trust me on that one.’

They talked back and forth, building up a haphazard picture of Amy’s life. Jake dating a lawyer called Sophia and then getting dumped, Amy going on a date with Dave Majors, kissing Jake while they were undercover, kissing him for real in the evidence lockup, Holt getting moved to PR.

‘Who was our new captain?’ Amy asked.

‘The Vulture,’ Rosa said.

‘It was Dozerman first,’ Charles said.

‘Before you guys killed him,’ Rosa added.

‘_What_?’ This all felt untrue, like Amy was hearing about someone else’s ridiculous, complicated life.

‘He walked in on you and Jake making out,’ Rosa said.

‘And he had a heart attack!’ Charles said, far too cheerfully. ‘And anyway, you guys broke up after that, and I told Jake he was being an idiot, but then you showed up at his door and you reunited and it was _beautiful_.’

‘Okay,’ Amy said. She was going to need someone to write some of these things down for her. ‘Okay. So that’s how we got together. But how did we fall in love? What are we _like_ together?’

‘Adorable,’ Charles said. ‘You’re America’s dream couple.’

‘You’re always, like, touching his arm,’ Rosa said. ‘And looking at each other. It’s disgusting.’

‘It’s _beautiful_,’ Charles said, dreamily. ‘It’s everything I wanted for the two of you.’

‘You always have fun together,’ Rosa said. ‘Because you’re both ridiculous.’

‘_I’m_ ridiculous?’ Amy said.

‘He brings it out in you,’ Rosa said.

‘But in a _good_ way,’ Charles added. ‘He makes you less stressed out. And you make his less… impulsive.’

‘He’s still an idiot, is what Charles’ is trying to say,’ Rosa said. ‘But you’re good influences on each other.’

‘And we’re… happy?’

‘_So_ happy,’ Charles said, earnestly.

Amy didn’t know what else to ask about, felt overwhelmed by all this information. Knowing that she and Jake were married was one thing, but somehow it was different hearing about what they were like as a couple. Hearing that they were… _cute_.

But she had interviewed her witnesses, which put her one step closer to solving the mystery of why she and Jake were married. She made a mental note to think over this conversation later, and to talk to Terry and Gina and the Captain. She needed all the information she could get.

They chatted for a while longer, Rosa and Charles telling her about the cases they’d been working on recently. Amy was envious: she missed work.

‘Oh, I have one more question,’ she said, as they were getting up to leave. ‘Who’s the president?’

Charles and Rosa looked at each other.

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Rosa said. ‘You’ve got enough shit to deal with.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the amazing response to the first chapter! I hope you liked this one :)


	3. Evidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy collects evidence for her case.

‘I just don’t understand why people would hate Hillary Clinton that much!’ Amy said. She was pacing across the living room, gesticulating and ranting to Jake, who was sprawled on the couch.

She had spent the day alone, floating around the apartment, reading, going through her closets in the hope that something would spark a memory. She had gone through her desk drawers and found years’ worth of planners: thank god for past Amy and her fastidious planning.

She had flicked through the pages – years and years of chores, of _take dress to dry cleaners_, of arranging to see parents and brothers, of work events. _Dinner with J_ started cropping up a lot. _Ava’s christening_. (Amy made a mental note to find out who Ava was.) Five days were marked down as _cruise_. _J’s birthday – Karen_. And then, _prison assignment_.

Amy started taking notes. She grabbed her laptop, typed up a timeline of everything that sounded important. She pulled down her calendar from above the bed and added whatever key dates she could make sense of. There was so much missing, though – it wasn’t like Amy had marked things in her planner like _tell J I love him_. (Although that did sound like something she would do, actually.)

There was a gap, six months where Amy’s plans were much more sporadic. _Boyle’s party_ was crossed out. Not a single _J_. Things didn’t go back to normal until the fall of 2016: _Halloween_, _Thanksgiving – Papi and squad,_ _Holiday song contest, Cop-con_.

And then: _trial_. No details, no reference to a case. Amy knew that this must be Jake and Rosa’s trial, and she made a note to ask someone about it. She could only imagine what it must have been like, how terrified she must have been. After that, the only plans she had made were _Jake_. And then, when Jake had got out of prison, another Halloween, another Thanksgiving. And then, _May 15th, 2018 – See wedding binder._

Amy had gone to her shelf of binders and found notes upon notes about her wedding. By the time Jake had come home from work and Amy had finally put everything away, her eyes hurt from all the reading.

Jake had triumphantly presented her with a shiny new iPhone – apparently her old one had been wrecked in the car accident. Amy had downloaded all her backed-up data from her laptop, and had been looking through photos of her and Jake when a news notification had popped up. That was how she had finally become acquainted with the current political situation.

‘Not everyone likes pantsuits as much as I do,’ Jake said.

Amy glared at him. ‘A - that’s gross, stop flirting with me. And _B_ \- this is a big deal! Why aren’t you freaking out?’

‘I’ve been freaking out for the past three years!’ Jake said. ‘But we’ve kind had to move past the ‘why didn’t you vote for Hillary’ thing – there’s so many more things to freak out about now.’

‘Oh god.’ Amy gave up on pacing and sat on the floor. ‘I am not looking forward to catching up.’

‘It’s like Thanos snapped you out of existence,’ Jake said.

‘What?’

He grinned at her. ‘We have some movies we need to watch.’

‘Oh yeah, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about,’ she said. ‘I’ve decided I want to go back to work, just for desk duty.’

‘Yeah,’ Jake said. ‘Sure, if you think you’re ready.’

‘I hate being stuck here all day,’ Amy said. ‘I wanna get back to something normal. I wanna do some _paperwork_. Ooh, maybe Holt will put me in the file room!’

Jake rolled his eyes. ‘God, you’re such a nerd.’

Amy grinned. ‘_There’s_ the Peralta I remember.’

The next morning, Amy put on a blue suit with a floral shirt and rode with Jake to the precinct.

‘Okay?’ he said.

Amy took a deep, slow breath. ‘I’m okay.’

The bullpen hadn’t changed much. Different posters on the notice boards, nobody at Gina’s desk. Amy’s own desk was bare. She stared at it for a moment, before the puzzle pieces slotted together in her mind.

‘I work on a different floor,’ she said.

‘Good solve.’ Jake threw himself into his desk chair. ‘You’re the Sargent for the uniformed officers. You can sit there if you want though, no-one else does.’

‘Santiago.’

Amy looked up to see Captain Holt standing in his office doorway, looking at her. She leapt to her feet. ‘Captain!’

‘Please come into my office for an informal discussion,’ he said, and disappeared.

Amy looked at Jake. ‘Oh my god. I’m gonna screw this up somehow.’

‘You’ll be fine,’ Jake said. ‘Holt loves you.’

‘He _does_?’ Amy said. But Jake just grinned, and the Captain was waiting for her, so she took a steading breath and followed him into the office.

‘Take a seat,’ Holt said. Amy did. ‘I have been fully briefed on your recent medical history,’ he continued. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘I’m good!’ Amy said. ‘Great. Not too shabby.’

‘Hmm.’ Holt didn’t look convinced. ‘You have not yet been cleared for work.’

‘I know,’ Amy said. ‘But I really wanted to get back. Obviously I’m happy to be on desk duty – I’ll do whatever needs doing.’

Holt considered. ‘The records room could do with some reorganising. That does play to your-’

‘I’ll do it!’ Amy said. ‘It would be an honour. Sir.’

Holt nodded. ‘Then it is agreed. We will see how your… memory issues develop before we make any decisions about your return to active duty.’

‘Thank you, sir,’ Amy said.

‘You can go,’ Holt said. Amy got to her feet. ‘Oh, and Santiago?’

‘Yes?’

Holt paused. ‘I hope your recovery is swift. The Nine-Nine has not been the same without you.’

Amy beamed.

She spent the day in the records room, pulling out files, dusting shelves, reorganising everything. It wasn’t exactly police work, but it was satisfying. Soothing. The sort of thing Amy was good at. A few people stopped by to say hi and ask how she was doing. A uniformed officer called Gary gave her a handmade ‘get well soon’ card. Rosa brought her coffee and Charles brought her gogi berry flapjacks and Terry hugged her so hard he lifted her off the ground.

‘Terry’s been so worried about you!’ he said.

‘Thanks, Sarge.’

‘Terry’s a Lieutenant now!’ Terry said. ‘_You’re_ Sarge. Rosa keeps trying to call me _Lieut_, but I’m still not sure about it.’

When he left, Amy turned back to the files.

_99th Precinct - #12358W_

_Homicide_

_Det. Jacob Peralta-Santiago_

She had been focusing on the numbers and categories of the cases before, but now Amy realised she was holding yet another record of her past, another link to everything she had forgotten. That gave her an idea.

She hastily shelved the pile of folders, and took the elevator down to the basement, where the security team worked.

‘Hi,’ she said, to the nearest person. She didn’t remember him. ‘Sargant Santiago. Santiago-Peralta.’

He glanced up from his computer, disinterested. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘I want to see the security footage from the evidence lockup,’ she said.

‘Sure, when from?’

‘All of it,’ Amy said. ‘From the last six years.’

Amy scrolled through the footage. There was an awful lot of people walking in, finding what they were looking for, and then leaving. But there was also weird stuff: Terry dancing, Holt having a surprisingly animated phone conversation, two uniformed officers fighting over a bar of candy. And Amy saw a lot of herself, turning from the 2013 self she remembered into something closer to who she was supposed to be now.

And Jake. A lot of Jake.

Jake doing work, Jake sneaking in to look at his phone. Jake high-fiving Charles. Jake talking to Amy. He disappeared for about six months’ worth of footage, and the first thing she saw him do when he reappeared was talk to her.

In May 2015, they came in, talked for a bit, and then kissed. It was slow, intense, somewhat dramatic. Amy played the clip over and over again, trying to remember how it felt. All she could think was that it was bizarre, watching herself kiss Jake Peralta.

In the footage from the day after that, Amy took Jake by the hand and led him to a secluded corner of the evidence room, where they proceeded to passionately make out until a man in Captain’s uniform interrupted them and collapsed. Dozerman, she remembered from her conversation with Rosa and Charles.

More work. Ridiculous stuff on Halloween. The occasional sneaky kiss. Jake disappeared again, and came back with a cane. For some reason, Charles briefly had ginger hair.

And then October 31st, 2017. The fifth Halloween heist. She and Jake were talking alone, and then Amy grabbed a box off the shelf and pulled out a shiny cummerbund. Jake said something, and Amy looked at the cummerbund in her hands, and while she was distracted Jake pulled something out of his pocket and sank to one knee.

Amy on the screen and Amy watching realised what was happening at the same time. They were talking, and Amy wished desperately that she could hear what they were saying. And then Jake stood up, and she held her hand out for him to put the ring on, and then she pulled him into a kiss.

The door opened behind her. ‘Hey,’ Jake said. ‘Wanna get some – oh. Is that…?’

Amy glanced back at Jake, standing behind her looking thoroughly caught off guard, and back at the screen, where Jake was hugging her. ‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘I wanted to see us. As a couple.’

‘You sure found that,’ he said, coming closer to watch over her shoulder. ‘Oh, you _have_ to watch this bit, it’s amazing.’

On the screen, the door of the evidence lockup was flung open and Charles burst in. He paused when he saw Jake and Amy, and she held up her left hand for him to see, and then he collapsed.

‘Oh my god,’ Amy said, trying not to laugh. ‘Was he okay?’

‘He was fine,’ Jake said. His hand landed on Amy’s shoulder. ‘And _we_ were engaged.’

Amy paused the video. ‘What did you say?’ she said. ‘When you proposed to me?’

Jake let go of her, pulled up a chair. ‘Lucky for you, I have an excellent memory,’ he said. And then, ‘Shit, is that insensitive? Sorry.’

Amy smiled. ‘It’s fine.’

‘Right.’ He gave her a look she’d never seen before, soft and intense all at once. ‘I said… Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. I love your face, and I love your butt. I love how much you pretend to like _Die Hard_.’

‘I pretend to like _Die Hard_?’ Amy said. ‘Wow, I really must like you.’

Jake’s mouth quirked with a smile. ‘You’re kind,’ he continued, still serious. ‘And you’re funny. You’re the best person I know. And the best detective.’ Amy’s throat felt tight. Her hands were shaking. Even though this was fake, the feeling in Jake’s voice was real. ‘Also, for realz, I love your butt.’

Amy laughed, because that was _so_ Jake, but at the same time she found herself biting back tears. The love in Jake’s face was unmistakable.

‘Amy Santiago,’ he said. ‘Will you marry me?’

‘Jake.’ Amy buried her face in her hands, trying desperately not to cry.

‘Oh god, I’m sorry,’ Jake groaned. ‘I keep upsetting you. I _hate_ this.’

‘I’m fine,’ Amy said, wiping her eyes. ‘I… it’s fine.’ She got to her feet, took a deep breath. ‘I think I’m gonna see if Rosa wants to get lunch, if that’s okay.’

Jake looked miserable. ‘Sure. Whatever you want.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the amazing response to the last chapter! It's been so long since I wrote Peraltiago, I forgot how much people like it XD I feel like not too much happened in this chapter, but I promise things are gonna interesting next time ;)


	4. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy finally takes Jake up on his offer to ask him questions about their life together. Things get complicated.

‘What do you wanna do for dinner?’ Jake said.

‘I don’t mind,’ Amy said. ‘Whatever you want.’

Jake let out an almost imperceptible sigh. ‘Okay. I’ll think of something.’

He parked, and they got out of the car. She hated her reliance on him, hated that she was always sitting in his passenger seat.

And, more than that, she hated that she couldn’t get away from him. He was there in the mornings, eating his stupid low-sugar granola. (When had low-sugar granola been invented, and when had Jake ‘gummy bears in a fruit rollup’ Peralta started buying it?) And he was there at work, sitting at his desk filling out paperwork in his awful handwriting, running in and out of the bullpen, being loud and making jokes. He was there in the evenings, trying to get her to let him cook for her. And he was there at night, sleeping on the couch and never once complaining about it.

‘I learnt this really good pad Thai recipe?’ he suggested. ‘Don’t worry – I got it from the internet, not from Charles.’

‘Sure, sounds good,’ Amy said, flatly. As they walked up the stairs to her apartment, she remembered for the thousandth time the security cam footage of Jake proposing to her, of Jake sitting beside her and echoing his speech. It had been a week, but she couldn’t get it out of her head.

She went straight to her room when they got into the apartment, changed out of her work clothes and hung her blazer up. The clothes in her closet were mostly unfamiliar, but her style hadn’t changed and that was comforting. Her wedding dress was in there, but looking at it made her feel sick.

Amy floated around the room. Took her hair out of its ponytail and tied it up again. Sat on the bed she apparently shared with Jake. She didn’t want to go out and face Jake and his pad Thai recipes. He was being so nice to her – too nice. She wanted him to be _normal_, to make fun of her, to get competitive. She didn’t know what to do with all of this weird, tender domesticity.

Amy sighed, and put on her Captain Voice – that is, the voice she imagined she would use when she was a captain someday. ‘Pull yourself together, Santiago,’ she said out loud. ‘You don’t have time to wallow – you’ve got a case to solve.’

She hoped she would be kinder captain than that, but right now she needed some harsh guidance. She took another deep breath. Time to solve the case.

Jake was sitting on the couch looking at his phone, but he put it down when she walked in. ‘Okay?’

‘Yeah.’ Amy sank onto the couch beside him. ‘Can I… ask you some questions?’

Jake turned to face her properly. ‘Shoot.’

‘When did we get married?’

‘May, last year.’

‘Who officiated?’

‘Captain Holt.’

‘_Really_?’ Amy said. ‘That’s awesome.’

‘I know, right?’ Jake said, lighting up. ‘He said he loved us both. Wait – I have pictures!’ He pulled put his phone and started scrolling.

‘How did we celebrate our anniversary?’ Amy said.

‘I almost died and you threatened to leave me if I didn’t want children and we had Thai food. Not in that order.’

‘_What_?’

‘Wait, that sounded bad,’ Jake said, still looking at his phone. ‘I mean, we saved some lives, we decided to have kids, and we got Thai food, not in that order. Here you go!’

He presented his phone to her, and Amy gazed at the photos. Her in her wedding dress. Her and Jake and Holt, under a canopy of Christmas lights. Everyone at Shaw’s.

‘Why was our reception at Shaw’s?’

‘Long story,’ Jake said. ‘There was a bomb. Our wedding almost didn’t happen, actually, but Charles saved it.’

‘That sounds… chaotic.’ Amy hated chaos. She couldn’t understand why she looked so damn _happy_ in all the photos.

‘Yeah,’ Jake said, a little wistful.

She handed the phone back to him. ‘What about the rest of our marriage? Our honeymoon? Our day to day?’

Jake launched into a description of their honeymoon and then went off on a tangent about counting down the top five moments of their first year of marriage, and then went off on _another_ tangent about a case, and then a story about all-night movie marathon they had had.

It fit with everything she had heard from Rosa and Charles, everything she had seen in the security footage, everything Jake had mentioned or hinted at. All of it built up the picture of a relationship that was messy and fun and sometimes complicated but was, fundamentally, happy.

‘And…’ Amy hesitated. She wasn’t sure why she needed to ask this, but it was weighing on her mind. ‘Do we, you know, sleep together?’

‘I don’t normally sleep on the couch, if that’s what you mean.’

Amy rolled her eyes. ‘You know that’s not what I meant. Do we… I mean, that’s a stupid question. We’re married – I was pregnant – of course we have sex. But… tell me about it?’

Jake gave her a look she couldn’t decipher. ‘Why?’

‘People keep telling me about our relationship like it’s history,’ Amy said. ‘Like, telling me the facts of it, the timeline. Or how it looks on the outside. But I want to know about the things they don’t see.’

‘Smort,’ Jake said. ‘Coolcoolcoolcool.’

‘You don’t have to,’ Amy said, quickly.

‘No, it’s okay,’ Jake said, but he looked so uncertain that Amy reached out and squeezed his hand. That made him smile.

‘Tell me whatever you want,’ she said.

‘Okay.’ Jake frowned thoughtfully, his knee bouncing. He was still holding her hand. ‘Our first time was right after our first date – our first _real_ date. We said we weren’t going to sleep together, but you kissed me outside the restaurant and all our resolve went out the window.’

‘Was it… good?’

‘It was _mad_ good,’ Jake said.

Suddenly feeling brave, Amy said, ‘Who was on top?’

Jake smirked. ‘2013 Santiago would never say that.’

‘You just didn’t know her well enough,’ Amy said.

‘You were on top,’ Jake said. ‘And then I was on top. But not until after I had gone down on you.’

Amy tried to imagine it. Jake between her legs, underneath her, on top of her. The room felt several degrees hotter. ‘Good,’ she said.

‘I’m very good to you,’ Jake said. ‘It only got better after that time.’

‘Tell me…’ Amy’s mouth was dry. ‘Tell me more.’

Jake held Amy’s hand between both of his own, his skin hot against hers. ‘You’ve introduced me to things I didn’t even know about,’ he said. ‘There’s this position where one leg goes over the – yeah, anyway, there’s a bunch of stuff. Things I didn’t know I liked.’

‘I’m not as much of a prude as you think I am.’ Amy’s attempt to keep things light sounded strained even to her own ears.

‘I know,’ Jake said. ‘I thought I knew you, Ames, but it was nothing like how I know you now.’

‘How do you… know me now?’

One of Jake’s hands was starting to creep up Amy’s forearm, and that shouldn’t have felt good but somehow it did. ‘I know how your hands feel in my hair,’ he said. ‘I know how you _taste_. I know all the sounds and faces you make.’

It was far, far too hot in here. Amy was sure her face was red. Jake was looking at her, seriously, intensely, his hands still on her arm. She couldn’t take her eyes off him.

‘You like to tease me,’ he said. ‘Like to make we wait. Like to make me beg for it.’

Amy bit her lip. ‘I do?’

‘Sometimes,’ Jake continued, ‘You get me right to the edge and then back off, and it drives me insane but I love it.’

Amy pictured Jake squirming, desperate. ‘Ohh, mama.’

Jake grinned. ‘You say that a lot. Like when you saw my attendance from high school, and when I took you to that barrel exhibition at the museum.’

Somehow, that surprised Amy even more than everything else Jake had said. ‘You took me to a barrel exhibition?’

‘Uh-huh,’ Jake said. ‘And I already knew all about it because of a case.’

‘That’s so…’ Amy was short of breath.

‘I know,’ Jake said. His voice low, almost rough. ‘You pushed me up against the wall as soon as we got home. Dragged me to bed. I made you come twice before we’d even started fucking.’

Amy let out a strangled gasp. Jake’s hand was on her elbow. Her body was on fire, aching to be touched. She licked her lips. ‘I really like… museums.’

‘You do,’ Jake growled. ‘And you really like it when I go down on you. And you really like putting me in handcuffs and giving me hickeys and telling me what to do, even though you know I won’t always do what you say. But sometimes you like me to be in charge, and you always do what I say, you love to be good for me.’

Jake’s hand was on her shoulder. The other one was still holding her hand, but Amy wanted them all over her.

‘Even when we were trying to get pregnant,’ Jake said, ‘It never felt like a chore. It’s always good. Sometimes it’s kinky stuff, and sometimes it’s just fucking, and sometimes it’s romantic, but it’s _always_ good.’

Amy couldn’t breathe, wanted to kiss him, wanted to climb into his lap. Wanted to do everything he was describing. This was crazy: this was Jake Peralta, her co-worker, who she had never had a sexual thought about before. Who drove her mad, who made fun of her, who she had never thought of as attractive.

Jake, who liked her. Jake, whose eyes were full of lust and whose hands were firm and steady. Jake, who felt entirely different up close.

Amy leant forwards, and Jake’s hand slid from her shoulder to her jaw, and they were kissing. He let out a little relieved sigh against her mouth, and her hand was at his back, and his lips were so soft, so welcome on hers. She deepened the kiss, felt his tongue against hers, and his other hand was on her waist now.

She swung her leg over his thighs, straddled his lap. Kissed him hard, felt his cock pressed hard against her thigh, raked her hands through his hair.

‘_Ames_,’ Jake groaned. Pleading, desperate. ‘Don’t.’

Amy pulled back. Jake’s hair was tousled, his lips swollen, his face full of longing. Yet another way she’d never seen him before. ‘Don’t?’ she echoed.

‘I _can’t_,’ he said. ‘I can’t take advantage of you like that.’

‘You’re not _taking advantage_ of me,’ Amy said. ‘I _want_ this.’

‘It just doesn’t feel right,’ Jake said. ‘When I remember all those times, and you don’t.’

Amy climbed off his lap. ‘Then what was all that arm touching about? All that bedroom voice?’

‘Fuck.’ Jake ran a hand through his already-dishevelled hair. ‘I’m sorry.’

Amy couldn’t look at him anymore. ‘Forget it,’ she said, and marched towards her bedroom. She was thrumming with anger and frustration – now _that_ was how Jake normally made her feel.

She sank onto the edge of the bed, and it reminded her of… something. Sitting on the edge of a mattress, angry. Fighting with Jake.

Why were they fighting? Amy’s brain hurt with the effort of remembering. Something to do with a case, maybe? No, that wasn’t quite right. She flopped back onto the bed, and that’s when it hit her: she was fighting with Jake because he refused to buy a new mattress.

And if they were fighting about _that_, they must have been dating.

Amy’s chest squeezed. She thought she might have a panic attack, might cry, might throw up. And then it passed, washed away by the wave of relief that hit her.

She was on her feet again. ‘Jake!’ she called, running back to the living room.

‘What?’ he glared at her from the couch, still tousled.

‘_Jake_,’ she said again, breathless. ‘Jake. I remembered something.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't I tell you things were gonna get *interesting* in this chapter? ;)


	5. Line of Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake grapple with the complicated nature of their relationship.

‘_What_?’ Jake said again, and then Amy was grinning and Jake was grinning and he was jumping up and holding her and spinning her round.

‘I wanted you to get a new mattress,’ Amy said, laughing. ‘Because yours was uncomfortable, and we had a fight about it.’

‘We did!’ Jake held her at arms’ length, marvelling at her.

‘And you got a new mattress, right?’ Amy said.

‘I _did_!’ He swept her up in his arms again.

‘That’s all I remember,’ Amy said, holding onto him.

‘I love you,’ Jake said. ‘Ames, that was 2016!’

‘It’s barely anything.’

‘It’s everything!’ Jake pulled back, carefully brushed Amy’s hair away from her face. ‘This means you can remember stuff! Things can come back to you!’

Amy didn’t feel like she was crying, but there were tears running down her face anyway. She was so hopeful, and so scared to hope. ‘It’s just one thing,’ she said.

‘I know, I know,’ Jake said. ‘But it’s _something_.’

Amy pulled away from him, wiped her eyes. ‘I guess we’ll have to see if I remember anything else.’

‘Yes,’ Jake said. And then, like he couldn’t hold back the words, ‘I’m so sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have… I feel like I crossed a line.’

‘I think _I_ crossed the line,’ Amy said.

‘I would never have done that with 2013 Amy.’

‘Really?’ said Amy. ‘Because you _did_ make a lot of sexual comments.’

Jake flinched. ‘Yeah. I get it. I’m the worst. Coolcoolcoolcool.’ He turned away, started towards the kitchen.

‘_What_?’ Amy stormed after him. ‘That’s not what I said!’ Jake clattered around the kitchen, getting out pans and chopping boards and food. He was treating her cupboards like he was mad at them. ‘I just meant… we both used to say a lot of stuff. Tease each other.’

‘Yeah, probably shouldn’t have done, right?’ Jake said. ‘Pretty inappropriate workplace behaviour.’

Amy didn’t understand how they had gone from making out to fighting to celebrating and back to fighting so quickly. She didn’t even know what they were fighting _about_. Jake chopped an onion, tossed it into a pan. Amy watched, feeling helpless.

‘Jake,’ she said eventually, trying to soften her voice. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘You told me what happened!’ he said. He tore open a packet of beansprouts, and did nothing with them. Glared down at his hands. ‘With your old boss. Before you came to the Nine-Nine.’

Amy felt hollow. ‘Oh.’

‘I just…’ Jake said. ‘I don’t ever want to be that guy.’

‘That’s different,’ Amy said. ‘You weren’t forcing anything on me. I wanted it. I _initiated_ it.’

‘I know, I know,’ Jake said. ‘But… agh, I don’t know. I’m sorry. Forget it.’ He started faffing around with the food again, stirred the onions.

‘You didn’t turn the hob on,’ Amy pointed out.

Jake laughed, and some of the tension ebbed away. ‘Right,’ he said, and turned it on. ‘Okay, let’s make this stupid pad Thai.’

Amy walked over to him and sat on a free section of countertop. ‘So when did you learn to cook?’

‘I don’t know.’ Jake started prepping vegetables. ‘I guess sometimes we got bored of takeout.’

‘And you definitely couldn’t let _me _cook,’ Amy said. ‘God, remember those mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving? I mean, Thanksgiving 2013?’

Jake laughed. ‘Like I could forget. They’re burned into my memory forever.’ He scraped the pile of vegetables into the now-sizzling pan. ‘I’m not that good at cooking, honestly. We still eat takeout, like, eighty percent of the time, but I throw stuff together sometimes. Charles keeps trying to teach me all these fancy things, but I like things that I can do without a recipe, you know?’

‘I can’t imagine cooking anything without a recipe,’ Amy said.

‘Of course,’ Jake said. ‘Gotta follow dem rules.’

‘Rules are important!’ Amy said, laughing. ‘Isn’t the whole point of being a cop to enforce the rules?’

‘No, the whole point of being a cop is cool one-liners.’

‘And cool undercover personas,’ Amy added.

Jake pointed at her. ‘And being all smart and solving puzzles.’

‘And kicking down doors.’

‘And being able to hold your badge up and be all like “I’m a cop”!’

‘And getting approval from your superiors.’

‘And having a gun.’

‘And doing all the paperwork!’

Jake burst out laughing. ‘Oh, Amy, you were doing so well!’

‘Even the “approval from superiors” thing?’

‘Duh,’ Jake said. ‘Have you _seen_ me and Holt?’

‘I guess,’ Amy said.

‘Trust me, it’s a lot more obvious than it was in 2013. I call him _dad_ all the time.’

‘God, Peralta, at least be subtle about your daddy issues.’

‘God, _Santiago_.’ Jake grinned as he turned back to the food. ‘Get off my case.’

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘But only because you’re cooking for me.’

Part of Amy felt like they had started a thousand different conversations that needed finishing, that Jake had mentioned so many things she wanted to ask more about. But she was exhausted, and she couldn’t face anything that might start another fight.

Their conversation over dinner was a little strained, but it was fine. Nothing heavy was discussed, and there was no sniping and no anguish and no crying. Jake told her about a drugs case he was working, and Amy told him about some of the weird cases she had found when she was organising the file room.

By the time they parted ways for the night, Amy was feeling okay. Still confused, still frustrated, but happier than she had been in a while.

‘This guy has been stealing cars from the same neighbourhood for years,’ Jake said. ‘And today is the day we finally catch him. I’m certain he’s going to be there between midday and two o’clock this afternoon, and unfortunately for him, me and Charles are also going to be there.’

‘Good,’ Holt said. ‘Keep me updated on the case.’

‘Will do, Cap’n,’ Jake said, and tumbled back into his seat beside Charles.

‘I have an additional announcement, since we approaching the end of October,’ Holt said, to the briefing room at large. ‘The Halloween heist is postponed until Sargent Santiago is well enough to compete. We can do it in May again, or on any arbitrary holiday for that matter.’

‘Noice,’ Jake said. ‘More time to plan. I mean, more time for my wife to get better. So I can beat her!’ He shot a smirk at Amy, and she had to admit she didn’t hate it. It felt normal, teasing each other.

Charles looked at Holt suspiciously. ‘What if you’re just doing that to give yourself an advantage?’

‘I assure you,’ Holt said, in way that didn’t sound _totally_ reassuring. ‘I only have Santiago’s best interests at heart.’

‘Bold of you all to assume I’m not just faking amnesia so I can win,’ Amy said.

‘Ohhh!’ said Jake, delighted. ‘That’s my _wife_!’

‘This is an inefficient use of time,’ Holt said. ‘Briefing dismissed.’

Amy got to her feet, and joined Jake as everyone filed out of the room. ‘You’re going down, Peralta,’ she said. ‘Apparently I’ve won the heist twice, and by the time we have the next one I’ll remember how I did it.’

‘Okay, you have _not_ won twice,’ Jake said. ‘I totally won in 2017.’

‘We _all_ won in 2017,’ Charles said, dreamily.

‘I won in 2017!’ Holt called from his office. ‘I am the only two-time heist winner!’

‘I guess we’ll just have to see what happens next time,’ Amy said.

‘Yeah, maybe _I’ll_ win!’ Charles said.

Jake looked dubious. ‘Sure, bud.’

Charles grinned. ‘But in the meantime, we have a car thief to catch.’

‘Yes!’ Jake said. ‘To the armoury!’

Amy settled herself at her desk – her _old_ desk – to get on with the various jobs she had to do. Sometimes sitting here made her feel like everything was back to normal, like Jake was about to walk in and insult her and start talking about the girl he’d been on a date with the night before.

Without Jake there to distract her, Amy tore through her work. She didn’t stop until she realised she was hungry, and when she checked the time it was almost two o’clock. She’d just finish this report, she decided, and then she’d get lunch.

The elevator dinged and Jake and Charles walked out, both glaring at nothing in particular. Jake was holding his left arm awkwardly against his body.

‘Sarge!’ Charles called. ‘I mean, Luit! I mean, Terry – tell Jake he should go to the ER!’

Jake groaned. ‘Terry, tell Boyle I do not need to go to the ER!’

‘What the hell is this?’ Terry said, getting to his feet.

‘Jake dislocated his shoulder,’ Charles said. ‘And he _refuses_ to look after himself.’

‘Rosa popped it back in for me!’ Jake protested. ‘It was _very_ weird. But I’m fine now!’

‘Rosa is not a replacement for the ER,’ Terry said.

‘She did nurse training!’

Amy got up from her desk and walked over to them. ‘I think you should go to the ER,’ she said. ‘What if it wasn’t just the dislocation? You should get it checked out.’

Jake sighed. ‘I’m _fine_. Stop ganging up on me.’

Terry fixed them all with his best ‘angry dad’ face. ‘Right – Amy, take Jake to the ER. Boyle – finish up whatever you can for the case. Those are _orders_.’

‘Whatever,’ Jake said. ‘Fine.’

He was grumpy and petulant the whole way to the hospital, but he willingly explained to a nurse what had happened. Amy didn’t really know what to do, how she was supposed to act. She had taken people – co-workers, brothers, even Jake – to emergency rooms before, but she felt like she should be doing something differently as his wife.

‘Take a seat,’ the nurse told them. ‘Someone will come for you.’

They sank onto uncomfortable chairs, and Amy wished she had a book with her. They were probably going to be there for a while.

Jake crossed his legs. Uncrossed them. Sighed. ‘I’m sorry for being a jerk,’ he said. ‘I just… the perp got away. I didn’t wanna stop working on that case, you know?’

‘Trust me, I get it,’ Amy said.

‘Fomoow,’ Jake said.

‘What?’

‘Fear of missing out on work,’ he clarified. ‘It’s an Amy Santiago specialty.’

Amy laughed. She had to admit, Jake knew her well. ‘I’ve kind of missed you being a jerk,’ she admitted.

‘There’s no winning with you,’ Jake said, lightly.

‘How’s the arm?’

‘Kinda sore,’ he admitted. ‘I thought it was just my shoulder but my wrist feels weird too. Hey, do you think there’s a vending machine around here somewhere? Me and Charles were meant to get lunch before everything went down.’

‘I’ll go look.’

Amy went and found a vending machine, going back to Jake with candy and chips and a very unappealing turkey sandwich. They ate everything except for the sandwich, but after a few hours Jake got so bored he ate that too.

‘At least this means they’re not too worried about your arm,’ Amy said, pacing around to stop her legs from falling asleep.

‘True,’ Jake said. ‘Normally when I’m at the hospital I go straight in. Like when you shot me that time.’

‘Okay, I need to hear this story,’ Amy said, and Jake told her all about witness protection and the squad’s rescue mission.

It was dark outside by the time someone came for them, and then they waited in a cubicle for another half an hour before a doctor came to look at Jake’s arm. In the end it was only a sprain, but Amy felt better having had it checked.

‘I’ll sleep on the couch tonight,’ Amy said, as they walked back into their apartment. ‘Your arm…’

‘It’s fine,’ Jake said, fidgeting with the bandage around his wrist.

‘It’s not fine,’ Amy said. ‘And you’ve been sleeping on the couch for weeks. Just… let me do this for you, okay?’

‘Okay,’ Jake said. ‘Just for tonight, and only because I don’t want to argue with someone who has amnesia.’

Amy rolled her eyes. ‘I’m sure I’ll cope.’

‘I’m sure someone would let you stay with them, if you wanted,’ Jake said. ‘Terry has a spare room. Holt and Kevin have, like, a tonne of rooms. It’s like, what do they need all those rooms for?’

‘It’s _fine_,’ Amy said, cutting across Jake’s ramblings. ‘Just sleep in the stupid bed.’


	6. The Night Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy feels increasingly confused about her relationship with Jake, and turns to her friends for help.

When Amy woke up, she was freezing. The living room had always been draughtier than the bedroom and the spare blanket wasn’t doing much to combat it. She tugged it tighter around her, curling in on herself.

It was no good. Amy was shivering, and she was only waking up more. She checked her phone – it was one in the morning. She got to her feet. Surely, she must have another blanket or a comforter somewhere.

She tried the cupboard in the hallway – sheets, but nothing warm. Amy groaned internally – if she did have something, it must be in the bedroom.

She opened the door as quietly as she could, trying not to move too fast or breathe too heavily for fear of waking Jake up. He shifted when she walked in and Amy held her breath for a moment, but Jake was silent.

She crept forwards, aiming for the wardrobe. She didn’t know how she was going to find anything with only the dimmest of glows coming in from the streetlights outside.

‘Hey,’ Jake said, sleepily, his voice breaking through the quiet.

Amy stood still, feeling stupid. ‘I’m cold,’ she said.

‘You’re always cold,’ Jake murmured. He shifted, and she could just about make out his face. ‘C’mere.’ He pushed down the covers on the empty side of the bed – her side.

This wasn’t what Amy had been planning _at all_. But the bed looked so cosy, and Jake was looking at her so hopefully, soft and uninhibited, and Amy couldn’t resist. She climbed into the bed, pulling the covers up over her shoulders, gravitating towards the warmth of Jake’s body.

Jake looked satisfied with this development and relaxed, closing his eyes. And Amy was less than a foot from him, face to face. In bed with him. And she was sure she’d have thoughts about this in the morning, but right now she was so, so tired.

When Amy woke up again, she was perfectly warm. And ‘No Sleep Til Brooklyn’ was blaring.

‘What?’ she said, blearily, and rolled over in the direction of the noise.

That was when she opened her eyes, and realised she was in bed with Jake Peralta.

‘It should be illegal to wake up this early,’ he groaned, flailing in the direction of the nightstand. But the song kept playing, until Jake gave up and rolled onto his side, grabbing his phone and turning the alarm off.

‘Um,’ Amy said.

Jake turned back to her. Yawned. Rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. ‘Fuck,’ he said. ‘Did I tell you to get into bed last night? I thought I dreamed that.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Amy said, feeling terrible. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking.’

‘It’s okay,’ he said. He gazed up at the ceiling, and Amy studied his profile, his tousled hair. ‘If _you’re_ okay. Obviously this isn’t something you’re used to.’

‘I mean, it’s weird,’ Amy admitted. ‘But it’s also… warm. And it’s my bed. It’s better than the couch.’

‘I’m gonna take a shower,’ Jake said, which was in no way an answer to what Amy had just said.

‘Oh – okay,’ she said. Jake was already getting out of bed.

She made herself busy finding her outfit for the day, making coffee. She heard the shower turn off, and ate a slice of toast while she gave Jake time to get dressed and, more importantly, gave herself time before she had to face him again.

They had slept in the same bed. So close, so casually intimate. Like a _couple_. Like what Jake was used to. And she had no idea what to do about that, didn’t know how to even begin addressing their complicated relationship and the fact that Jake had feelings for her she couldn’t remember having for him.

But she couldn’t escape the fact that her feelings towards him had changed. She didn’t understand it, but after everything that had happened since she woke up after the car crash, her feelings towards Jake had softened considerably. She was getting used to his constant presence, joking around with him over dinner, _climbing into bed with him_.

Something occurred to Amy that, somehow, she hadn’t thought of before. She had a _spare bedroom_. Why the hell had they been sleeping on the couch?

She had a sinking feeling in her stomach, but she was already walking down the hall to the spare room. As far as she remembered there was a bed in there, but she mostly used it for storage. Apprehensively, she pushed open the door.

No bed. Ikea boxes. Two tins of yellow paint. A couple of boxes and carrier bags, sitting there like they were waiting for something. The walls were bare, stripped of her old pink wallpaper.

Amy sat on the floor in the middle of it all and peered at the label on the nearest Ikea box. It contained a crib.

‘Ames?’ Jake said, from somewhere far away. And then, ‘Amy?’ A little closer. The door opened behind her, and Jake said, ‘Oh.’

‘It’s a nursery,’ Amy said, faintly, gazing around her.

‘Yeah.’

Amy’s throat was tight. ‘For the baby.’ They were surrounded by presents for someone who didn’t exist, who would _never_ exist, who Amy would never get to meet.

‘For _a_ baby,’ Jake corrected, sinking to the floor beside her.

‘We have so much stuff,’ Amy said, a little hysterically.

‘Well, you’re very organised,’ Jake said. ‘And it’s not that much stuff when you think about everything babies need. We didn’t even start looking at strollers or anything like that. It was just some things for the nursery. You wouldn’t even let me buy a pair of tiny sneakers.’

Amy laughed, weakly. Jake put a cautious arm around her. ‘I like the idea of having kids,’ Amy admitted. She put her hand over her lower stomach, tried to imagine it. Those two months or so when she knew she was creating a new person.

‘Even with me?’ Jake said.

Amy leant into his side. ‘Even with you, Peralta. I’m guessing 2019 Amy had her reasons.’

‘Are you sad?’ Jake said. ‘About the miscarriage? Like, obviously you don’t remember being pregnant, but I know how much you want kids.’

‘I don’t know,’ Amy said. ‘Yes. Sort of. It didn’t feel real until I saw all this stuff, but now…’

‘Yeah,’ Jake said. ‘The more you prepare for something, the more real it gets.’

‘Says the guy who never prepares for anything.’

Jake laughed. ‘I don’t have a comeback for that.’

Amy opened a carrier bag, took out a space-themed mobile. ‘This is so cute.’

‘You kept saying it was too early to buy things like that,’ Jake said. ‘But you couldn’t resist it.’ Amy opened the packaging, unwrapped all the little planets and stars. Jake’s arm was still around her. ‘I almost didn’t want kids,’ Jake said, suddenly. ‘I mean, I did, but I didn’t.’

‘Huh?’

‘I saw how bad you wanted you wanted them and I panicked. I was scared I wouldn’t be a good dad, that I wouldn’t be good enough for _you_ to raise kids with.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Amy said. ‘I mean, if I wasn’t supportive enough. If I did anything to make you feel worse.’

‘You don’t have anything to be sorry for,’ Jake said.

‘Didn’t you say before that I threatened to leave you?’

Jake let out a strained laugh. ‘Glad to see you’ve got no problem making new memories.’

‘I can’t believe I’d do that…’ Amy said. ‘I mean, I believe you. But it doesn’t feel like me.’

‘You were scared,’ Jake said. ‘And freaking out. And obviously it made me panic, but it wasn’t as simple as _have kids with me or I’ll leave you_. It was more like, we thought we were on the same page but for the first time we weren’t, and neither of us knew what to do.’

‘That makes sense.’

‘Someone once told me that you can get through anything as long as you’re with the right person,’ Jake said.

‘Smort.’

Jake laughed. ‘Very smort. Do you wanna hear what she said next?’

‘Go on,’ Amy said, with a feeling of trepidation.

‘She said, “and you, Jake Peralta, are the right person for me”.’

‘Sounds like she has a way with words,’ Amy said, desperately trying to keep her voice light.

‘Oh, she does,’ Jake said with a laugh. ‘Right after that she told me my butt was the bomb.’

‘Huh?’

‘It was part of her wedding vows.’

For the first time, Amy really, _really_ wanted to remember everything that had happened in the last six years. Not just because her life was horrible and confusing, and not just to get to the bottom of all the mysteries, but because it sounded _good_. It sounded happy, like something that deserved to be remembered.

‘Let’s hope she was right about being able to get through anything,’ Amy said. And then, ‘Oh my god, we’re gonna be late for work!’

‘Crap,’ Jake said, scrambling to his feet. ‘I really need to close that car theft case.’

‘I’m not even dressed!’ Amy said, getting up. ‘Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m gonna be so late.’

‘Hey,’ Jake said. He fixed her with an intense gaze. ‘Take a deep breath.’

Amy tried to, but it was hard. Her throat felt tight.

‘It’s gonna be fine,’ Jake said. ‘You’re on desk duty – you’re not going to miss anything. And I promise Holt will let you off for being late – it’s _me_ that’s going to be in trouble.’

‘I don’t want that either!’

‘It will be chill,’ Jake said, firmly. ‘Go get dressed – I’ll get our stuff together.’

Ten minutes later Amy was in the car, feeling gross and sweaty and crumpled, but at least dressed and on her way to work. Jake handed her a nicotine patch as he pulled out of the parking space, which Amy gratefully slapped on her arm.

‘I can’t believe I’m late,’ she grumbled, brushing her hair in the mirror on the back of the sun visor. ‘I’m never late. I’m going to believe this is somehow your fault.’

‘Sure,’ Jake laughed. ‘If that helps.’

They walked in halfway through the briefing, and Amy’s face turned hot under the gaze of everyone in the room. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she muttered, slinking to an empty seat at the back of the room.

‘What’s up, Captain?’ Jake said, strolling after her. ‘Hey, important update! I have a sprained wrist! Santiago and I are late because I was heroically injured in the line of duty.’

‘Peralta, sit down,’ Holt said. ‘Detective Cook was just about to brief us on the eighth street robberies.’

And that was all that happened. Amy spent all morning waiting for Holt to call them into his office and chide them, but he didn’t. Instead, Amy was left to get on with digitising paperwork and listen in to Jake and Charles talking about their car thief case.

‘He knows we’re onto him now,’ Charles said. ‘But I say we go back anyway.’

‘Yeah,’ Jake said. ‘Tomorrow. He never comes on Wednesdays.’ He groaned. ‘He’d better be there, or we’ve waisted a _tonne_ of time.’

‘We’ll figure it out,’ Charles said. ‘And it gives you more time to work on the Moran case.’

‘How do you know all my cases?’

‘I’m a very dutiful best friend.’

Jake groaned. ‘But the Moran case is so boring! It’s just a B and E!’

But after an hour of going over case notes, Jake suddenly said, ‘Oh my god.’

Amy looked up. ‘What happened?’

‘Oh my god,’ Jake said again. ‘This guy fits the description of – oh my god, this case suddenly became super cool!’ And he jumped up and disappeared in the direction of the files room.

Amy didn’t see him again, except for when he ran past her to the elevator. Instead, she got on with her work until Charles and Rosa showed up and insisted that she come out with them.

‘Come on,’ Charles said. ‘We’re having a ladies’ lunch.’

‘If you refer to yourself as a lady one more time, I will stab you,’ Rosa said.

Charles ignored her. ‘Gina’s gonna be there!’ he told Amy.

‘Okay, okay, I’m coming.’ Amy got to her feet, thinking that she hadn’t seen Gina since Thanksgiving 2013.

They went to a Mexican restaurant near the precinct, where Gina was sitting in a booth wearing a sparkly gold blazer.

‘Amy!’ she said, getting up. ‘My tiny amnesiac child. Come here.’

‘What?’ Amy said, even as Gina enfolded her in hug.

‘Aww,’ Charles said.

Amy stared at him and Rosa. ‘What is _happening_ right now?’

‘I haven’t seen you in so long,’ Gina said, finally releasing her. ‘And then you went and forgot all the wonderful things I’ve done in the past six years? That is truly a tragedy.’

‘Let’s sit down,’ Rosa said. ‘People are looking at us.’ They all slid into the booth.

‘I bet these guys didn’t even tell you everything I’ve done,’ Gina said.

‘Uhh.’ She was right, Amy realised. ‘They said you had a baby? And that you and Charles are step siblings?’

Gina sighed, dramatically. ‘I’m gonna need a margarita up in this sitch. But yes, those are both facts. I have a fabulous daughter called Iggy. But there is so much more to tell!’

‘Tell me, then,’ Amy said.

‘Well,’ said Gina. ‘I choreographed many excellent dance routines, I heroically followed the Captain to PR, I had relationships with _many_ people, only two of whom were Boyles-’

‘Gina has a type,’ Rosa interrupted.

‘_Outliers_,’ Gina said. ‘And I’m not done. I also saved everyone’s butt in Florida, got hit by a bus and made a miraculous recovery, won the forth Halloween heist, used my internet notoriety to stop the precinct from being shut down, graciously allowed you to borrow my dress for your wedding, revealed to our good friend Jacob the role I played in his origin story, and I left the Nine-Nine to become an internet sensation. Any questions?’

Amy was, once again, baffled. She looked from Gina to Charles and back again. ‘You two really slept together?’

‘Why is that the part everyone focuses on?’ Gina groaned.

‘They’re wondering how you could have landed someone like me,’ Charles said, smugly.

Amy decided that, actually, she didn’t want to hear any more about that. She asked Gina more about her daughter and about her newfound internet stardom, which Gina was only too happy to talk about as the four of them demolished a plate of nachos.

‘What about you?’ Gina said. ‘_Please_ tell me you’ve got something more interesting going on than that pantsuit.’

‘Well…’ Amy wasn’t sure if she should be talking about this, but she was desperate to go over it with someone. ‘Me and Jake slept in the same bed last night,’ she blurted.

‘Oh my god,’ Charles said.

‘Dang, girl,’ Gina said.

‘Huh,’ Rosa said.

‘Yeah,’ Amy fiddled nervously with her cutlery. ‘It just kinda… I mean, nothing _happened_. But I got into bed with him. And it was… not terrible.’

‘Nothing could be terrible about sleeping next to Jake,’ Charles sighed.

Rosa shot him a look. ‘Shut up,’ she said. ‘This isn’t about you and your weird crush on Jake.’

‘Yeah,’ Gina said. ‘This is about _Amy’s_ weird crush on Jake.’

‘I don’t have-’ Amy started. But, didn’t she? ‘I mean, I don’t know if I like him, or if I just like that he’s being so nice to me, or if I just think I _should_ like him because I’m supposed to be married to him.’

‘All of those options sound like you like him,’ Rosa said.

Amy groaned and buried her face in her hands. ‘There’s something else,’ she said, her voice muffled. ‘I also kissed him.’

‘Oh my god,’ Charles said again. ‘It’s like watching you fall in love all over again, but this time it’s _torture_.’

‘What kind of kiss?’ Rosa said.

‘Yeah,’ said Gina. ‘Is this like, a _thanks for looking after me when I have amnesia_ kiss? Or a _let’s see what this is all about_ kiss?’

‘I was trying to have sex with him,’ Amy said, despairingly, into her hands. Charles made an anguished sound.

‘I thought you said nothing happened,’ Rosa said.

‘Different time,’ Amy mumbled. Her face was hot; she was considering never looking up from her hands.

‘Look, if this was any other sitch,’ Gina said. ‘I’d say, go get it. But…’

‘But he remembers being married, and I don’t,’ Amy said. ‘He’s in love with me. And I… don’t know how I feel about him.’

‘How’s the investigation going?’ Rosa said.

‘I don’t know,’ Amy said. She risked looking up, her face still burning. ‘Sometimes I think I’m even more confused than I was. But also… I might be starting to get it. Jake’s nicer than I thought. Sweeter. And he’s…’ she cringed. ‘Not unattractive?’

Gina and Rosa both made a face. Charles nodded like this was accepted fact.

‘What do you want to happen here?’ Rosa said.

‘I… don’t know,’ Amy said. What she really wanted was for everything to go back to normal, to somehow return to 2013 and live out her relationship with Jake the way she was supposed to. But that was obviously ridiculous – what she _needed_ was for her memories to come back. All she had was that fight with Jake about the mattress, and she had turned over it so many times in her head that it hardly felt real.

And, in the meantime, what could she do? Except try not to make a mess of anything, try to preserve the life she had worked for so she could go back to it when she was ready. She owed it to herself, she figured, to be kind to the husband and the job that were waiting for her.

‘I need to give him some space,’ Amy decided. ‘I need to not make things weird. Just… try and keep on track until my memories start coming back.’

‘That’s a good idea,’ Rosa said.

‘If you guys need anything…’ Charles said. ‘You’ve always got us.’

Amy smiled, feeling a tiny bit better. ‘Thank you, guys. This has been really helpful.’

‘Okay,’ said Gina. ‘Let’s talk about me some more.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this chapter a retroactive fix-it fic for Casecation? A little.


	7. Unsolvable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy makes a decision, and has a lot of feelings.

‘So I heard you guys went to lunch without me,’ Jake said, as they walked into the apartment that evening.

‘Yeah,’ Amy said, cautiously.

‘Charles was being super weird,’ Jake said. ‘He said you went to lunch and then refused to tell me anything else and ran away.’

‘Yeah, weird,’ Amy said. And then she figured she might as well get this over with. ‘I think you were right before.’

‘I’m sure I was,’ Jake said. ‘About what?’

Amy took a deep breath. ‘One of us should stay with someone else. Sleeping on the couch just isn’t sustainable… and I don’t think sharing a bed is a good idea. For now.’

‘Cool,’ Jake said. ‘Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool.’

‘Wait,’ Amy said, panicked. ‘I don’t mean – not because I don’t want to be around you. It’s the opposite of that.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Jake folded his arms.

‘I just-’ Amy flapped her hands. ‘I don’t want to… take things too far. Because I know it means more to you than it does to me. I don’t want to do anything we’re going to regret.’

The straight line of Jake’s mouth contorted into a smirk. ‘Ohh, I get it. I’m just too irresistible to be around.’

‘If believing that will stop you from being upset, then sure.’

‘I’m not upset,’ Jake said, still tense, arms still folded. ‘I suggested it. I suggested it loads of times. I think it’s a good idea.’

‘It was your idea.’

He uncrossed his arms. ‘Exactly!’

‘So… are we good?’

‘Yes,’ Jake said. ‘Yes. We can do whatever you want. I’m gonna pack some stuff.’

She followed him into the bedroom, watched him throw plaid shirts and balled up socks into a heap on the floor. ‘_That’s_ your packing strategy?’

‘Yep,’ he said. ‘Works great. When we went on our honeymoon I managed to pack my Melvil Dewey costume without you seeing.’

Amy laughed. ‘You dressed as Melvil Dewey?’

Jake pulled a suitcase out from under the bed and started shoving clothes into it. ‘Yeah. And you dressed as Holly Genaro. But we don’t have to talk about that.’

‘Okay,’ Amy said. ‘Okay.’

The bed smelled like Jake. Amy pulled the covers tight around her, and wished she didn’t miss Jake’s body heat. She sighed, rolled over, tried to get comfortable.

She was doing the right thing, the _sensible_ thing, by giving them both space, but for once in her life Amy found herself wanting to do the least sensible thing imaginable. She wanted to call Jake, for him to come home and climb into bed with her.

But then what? _What do you want to happen here? _Rosa had said.

Amy sighed again, turned the light on, grabbed her glasses, and read until it was impossible to keep her eyes open.

On the third day since Jake left the apartment, he showed up at their desks holding a file and looking cheerful. ‘Amy!’ he said. ‘Work a case with me!’

‘I’m on desk duty,’ she reminded him.

‘Make an exception,’ he said. ‘The curator at the Brooklyn Museum of Industry is getting death threats – this case has Amy Santiago written all over it.’

‘Ooh,’ Amy said. ‘What kind of death threats?’

‘Death threats written in Latin!’ Jake said.

‘Would Holt let me work it with you?’

‘I already asked him,’ Jake said. ‘He was like,’ he put on a Holt voice, ‘_This may be an optimal way to reacquaint Sargent Santiago with the field.’_

‘Oh, this is gonna be so good!’ Amy said. Jake grinned at her.

They spent the morning putting together a case board and going through the notes with the death threats. Between google translate, Amy’s knowledge of Latin from various college classes, and a Latin dictionary, they were able to decipher the meanings and begin to speculate about who might be sending them.

‘They really missed an opportunity,’ Jake said. ‘_You’re dead – like this language!’_

Amy rolled her eyes, even though she’d been thinking the same thing. ‘Let’s get some lunch,’ she said. ‘Ooh, how about one of those bagels from that place round the corner? With the walnut-raisin filling?’

Jake looked at her. ‘You mean, the place round the corner that opened last year?’

‘Do I?’ Amy said. ‘I really remember those bagels… _oh_!’

Jake grinned. ‘So what I’m seeing here is that you’re remembering the most important things in your life: fighting with me, and walnut-raisin bagels.’

‘Bagels are _very_ important,’ Amy said, mock-serious. ‘How about you go get us some?’

Jake got to his feet. ‘Amy Santiago, I’ll get you all the bagels you want.’

Amy found herself getting used to Jake not being in the apartment. And that was what she had wanted all along, wasn’t it? For things to go back to normal. She slept alone, she got the subway to work, and in the evenings she got takeout.

Things _were_ coming back to her, though. Not _useful_ things, and not always clear, but they were still memories and Amy clung to them. Sitting on Jake’s desk to talk to him. David in the back of her car. A hard, wooden bench in a courtroom. And more, things she couldn’t quite corporealize, memories that were no more than feelings.

‘This is a very encouraging sign,’ her memory specialist said.

‘I made a timeline of important things from the last six years,’ Amy told him. ‘But I don’t think it’s made much difference. When I remember something, I don’t always know what it means or when it happened.’

The doctor nodded. ‘That’s to be expected. Maybe your friends can help contextualise these memories? And your husband?’

‘I guess,’ Amy said.

She sat at her old desk for another week, before she and Holt decided that she might as well move downstairs and work with her uniformed officers, even if there were still limits on how much she could do. So she wore her uniform, sat at her new desk, listened to people call her _Sarge_ all day.

And then she woke up one morning and remembered lying in bed with Jake beside her, saying _What about something more classic? Emily? Katherine? _And Jake saying _Yeah, those are cute. Can we have something weird for the middle name? _And she lay there for a while thinking about Emily or Katherine or whatever they would have gone with, a child with a weird middle name and a double-barrelled surname and a space mobile over their crib.

It was surreal. It felt like a memory that wasn’t even hers, a snapshot of someone else’s life. Talking about naming a baby that Amy didn’t remember being pregnant with.

‘I remembered a conversation we had,’ she said to Jake at work that day. ‘About baby names? I suggested Emily and Katherine?’

‘Woah,’ Jake said. ‘That was like, a week before the accident!’

‘Oh my god,’ Amy said, feeling ill suddenly.

‘You’re getting better!’ Jake said.

‘I’m… getting better.’ Amy needed to sit down. ‘I’m gonna…’

She went to the break room, poured herself a glass of water. Sat and sipped it slowly. Her memories were coming back. She was getting better. So what was wrong?

She took a deep breath. It was okay. She was okay. She was just overwhelmed. It was understandable – six years’ worth of memories were coming back to her in bits and pieces. It was a lot to handle.

She didn’t know if everything was going to come back, and even if it did there was not telling how long it would take. But that memory this morning was a sign of more to come: she was going to remember being pregnant with Jake’s baby, remember deciding to have kids with him, panicking that she might lose him if they didn’t want the same thing.

She was going to remember _marrying_ him. Visiting him in prison. Shooting him in the leg. Falling in love with him.

Amy didn’t know how long she sat there before Rosa walked in. ‘What’s up?’ Rosa said.

‘Uh.’ Amy looked at her nearly empty glass of water. ‘I’m having a lot of feelings.’

‘Oh,’ Rosa said. ‘Do you want Jake? Charles? Terry?’ She paused. ‘No. I’m a badass. I can handle anything, including feelings. Talk to me.’ She sank onto the couch next to Amy.

‘I still like Jake and I feel like I’ve made things weird and things are going back to normal and getting less normal all at the same time and I’m remembering things and I’m scared,’ Amy said, all in one breath.

There was a pause, Amy’s words swelling and filling the room. Eventually, Rosa said, ‘Damn. That is a lot of feelings.’

‘Yep.’

‘And none of them are the kind you can stab.’

‘I just-’ Amy said. ‘I don’t know. I feel like I’m making a mess of everything.’

‘Because you like Jake.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well,’ Rosa said, slowly. ‘You’ve liked Jake for a long time. And there were a lot of times when it seemed like you were making a mess of it. But you didn’t.’

‘Those times were different.’

‘I know,’ Rosa said. ‘And I know you don’t remember them. But the thing is: you and Jake aren’t perfect. But as far as I can tell, you _are_ perfect for each other.’

Amy remembered what Jake had said to her, that morning when they were late to work because they were sitting on the floor in their half-decorated nursery. _You can get through anything as long as you’re with the right person. And you, Jake Peralta, are the right person for me._

She checked the time on her phone – her break was over, she needed to get back downstairs. ‘I’ve gotta-’ she got to her feet. ‘Thanks, Rosa. That was really helpful.’

Rosa looked dubious. ‘You’re… welcome.’

Amy walked out of the breakroom, past Jake’s desk. He was scribbling on some paperwork with one hand, absently rolling a stress ball against the desk with the other. She wanted to talk to him, wanted to rub his tense shoulders. She wanted things to go back to normal – but what _was_ normal at this point? Being platonic co-workers and rivals? Being happily married? Or sharing an apartment, dancing around each other, kissing and then fighting?

She left him to his work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that wasn't the most exciting chapter, but I promise stuff if gonna happen next time! I am determined to finish this fic before season 7 starts.


	8. Negotiation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake go out for dinner, and he gives her an interesting present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a giant pile of fluff to make up for all that angst!

Amy was sick of this.

She was tired of being weird with Jake. Things were complicated, of course they were, but Amy had broken everything down to the basic facts. Fact number one: she liked Jake. Fact number two: Jake liked her. Why were they making things so difficult for themselves?

She walked into work with a renewed determination, took the elevator up the detectives’ floor. Marched over to Jake’s desk.

‘Hi,’ she said.

He put down the bagel he was eating, dropping crumbs on the desk. ‘Hey.’

‘Uh.’ It had been a while since Amy had tried to do something like this.

‘Are you okay?’ Jake said, half-teasing, half-genuine.

Amy took a deep breath. ‘I’ve been thinking,’ she said. ‘I really wanna get to know 2019 Jake properly. Can we, like… hang out?’

Jake smirked. ‘Santiago, are you asking me out?’

‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘I am. Jake Peralta, can I take you to dinner?’

‘Yeah,’ Jake said, giving her that soft look she’d seen so much of when they were living together after the accident. ‘You can take me to dinner.’

‘Cool,’ she said. ‘Good. I mean…’ she floundered. She wasn’t sure what was passing between them: this was normal and it wasn’t, it was romantic and it wasn’t. ‘I’d better go do some work.’

‘Me too,’ Jake said. ‘But I’ll see you this evening?’

‘You will.’

Amy had picked the restaurant: a bistro that, as far as she could tell from her old planners and a conversation with Charles, held no previous significance for her and Jake. She had carefully chosen a pretty but not-too-sexy dress in dusky pink, had blow-dried her hair, had looked at the menu online, had planned everything as much as she could. But still, as she stood waiting for Jake outside the restaurant, she was nervous.

‘Hey.’

Amy jumped and spun round. Jake was standing beside her, wearing a sweater over a shirt and trying not to laugh. ‘Hi,’ she said. ‘Um. Hello. Shall we-?’

‘Yep.’ They walked into the restaurant and were shown to their table. ‘You look…’ Jake said. ‘Uh. Very nice.’

‘Thank you,’ Amy’s face was warm. _Jake_ looked nice – so nice Amy couldn’t bring herself to say it. His sweater was giving him sexy professor vibes, and he looked _tidy_, which was so rare for him. It was a state he usually only achieved in uniform for a formal work event… or at Thanksgiving in 2013, when he had shown up to the precinct in a suit. _You look beautiful_, she had told him.

‘Shall we order some drinks?’ Jake said. ‘Wine? Since we’re having a fancy evening and everything?’

‘Yeah.’ Amy hastily shut down that line of thought. ‘Wine is good.’

When the waiter came over, Amy ordered a glass rather than a bottle – she wanted to stay reasonably clear-headed, sensible. More importantly, she wanted _Jake_ to know she was being sensible. She didn’t want him to think that this dinner had any ulterior motives.

‘I got you a present,’ he said when the waiter moved away, and presented her with a rectangle of brown paper.

‘Oh?’ Amy unwrapped it – it was a cassette tape. She laughed. ‘_What_?’

Jake looked pleased with himself. ‘I made you a mix tape.’

‘_How_?’

‘I used the recorder thingy to record the songs off Spotify.’ Amy shook her head - he was ridiculous, endearingly so. ‘I have a cassette player,’ he said. ‘At home. So you can listen to it.’

‘Of course you do,’ Amy said. _Home. Our home. _

‘It’s dumb,’ Jake said. ‘It’s just… what I always used to do for girls.’

It _was_ dumb, but it made Amy feel all warm and fuzzy. ‘Thank you.’

‘How’s Gina’s place?’ Amy asked, over a shared plate of cheesy garlic bread.

‘Pretty good.’ Jake licked cheese oil off his fingers. ‘Her daughter is adorable – you’ve gotta re-meet her sometime.’

‘I do!’ Amy said. ‘I’ve gotta re-meet all the kids. And Rosa’s girlfriend, and Charles’ wife, and Captain Holt’s husband…’

‘Oh my god,’ Jake said. ‘I forgot you don’t remember Kevin. Oh my god. That’s just tragic.’

Amy laughed. ‘Well now I’ve _really_ got to meet him.’

‘You’ll love him,’ Jake promised. ‘He’s like Holt but adorably nerdy in a whole different way. And they have a dog called Cheddar, who you’re super allergic too but will love anyway.’ And he told her about the Captain’s birthday party, about hiding in the bathroom with Terry and the dog, and Amy laughed so hard her ribs ached.

‘We should talk about something you remember, though,’ Jake said, once they had ordered their main courses. ‘Or this whole thing’s just gonna be me rambling. Which would be pretty great, to be fair, but I gotta eat at some point.’

‘So…’ Amy said. ‘2013? Or the last couple of months?’

‘Tell me what you think of everyone in 2019,’ Jake said.

‘It’s hard to judge,’ Amy said, teasingly. ‘Maybe you’re all just being extra nice to me because of the accident.’

‘Yep, that’s it,’ Jake said. ‘You got me.’

They talked easily through the meal, and before Amy knew it they were getting the check. ‘Come back to my place?’ she said, and immediately felt bad. ‘Our place. Come back and listen to the cassette with me.’

‘Sure,’ Jake said. ‘You should have exactly one more drink.’

They stepped out onto the pavement, walking in the direction of Jake’s car.

‘Why?’

‘Santiago drink scale,’ he explained. ‘Right now you’re on two drinks – Loud Amy. Three is Amy Dancepants.’ They got into the car, and he told her about the rest of the drink scale, recalling parties and holidays and evenings at Shaw’s, and Amy laughed because she could absolutely believe it.

‘By the way,’ she said. ‘What happened to your old car? Lose it in another bet?’

Jake laughed. ‘I sold it, actually. To pay off my dept to Terry, when Sharon was pregnant with Ava.’

‘That’s… really nice of you. I know how much you loved that car.’

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘But, turns out, I love my friends more. I also love not being in crushing debt.’

‘Still nice.’

‘Also, this one is _way_ less shitty. Do you know how much that car cost me in repairs? Because I don’t, but it was _a lot_.’

Amy laughed. She had been laughing a lot tonight, a lot more than she had been when she and Jake were apart.

‘And then it turned out that his _sister_ was using his method,’ Jake said, as they walked into the apartment. ‘Do you wanna know what happened?’

‘Did she get away too?’

‘She got away too!’ Jake said. ‘But I’m gonna catch her one day.’

Amy walked to the fridge, opened a bottle of white wine, poured a glass for each of them. ‘Are we gonna listen to that mix tape, then?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Jake said. ‘It’s, uh. I’ll put it on. Just-’ He looked away awkwardly. Was he _embarrassed_? Amy kept thinking she was running out of new sides of Jake, but he always found more to show her. ‘Just don’t judge me, okay?’ he finally said, with a laugh. ‘It’s kinda dumb.’

‘It’s okay,’ she said, following him through to the living room. ‘I wanna hear it.’

She sipped her wine as he fiddled with the cassette player, and then the slightly tiny sounds of All Out Of Love filled the room, and Amy laughed. ‘You made me a mixtape, and _this_ is what you put on it?’

‘This is the song from when Jenny Gildenhorn ditched me for Eddie Fung,’ Jake said.

‘Oh my god, are you _still_ talking about her in 2019?’

‘I tried to hook up with her at Charles and Gina’s parents’ wedding,’ Jake said. ‘But I ended up solving a case with you instead. It was good. That’s why this song’s on the tape.’

‘That’s… really sweet,’ Amy said.

‘Trust me,’ Jake said. ‘It’s gonna get sweeter.’

He was joking around, being his usual goofy self, but there was something vulnerable about compiling songs for her like this. Jake was giving her that soft look again, and she found herself standing and watching him as the song played, unsure what to say.

And then the song faded out, and the track changed.

_Though I've tried before to tell her_

_Of the feelings I have for her in my heart_

‘I know this song,’ Amy said.

Jake smiled. ‘It always makes me think of you.’

_Every time that I come near her_

_I just lose my nerve as I've done from the start_

Amy set her drink down. ‘We should dance,’ she decided. She held her hand out, and Jake took it.

‘Are you sure?’ he said, taking her waist with the other hand. ‘I always show you up when we dance.’

‘Shut up,’ Amy said, but she was grinning.

They danced around the living room, both laughing as they tripped over their feet. Jake spun Amy round, holding her arm over her head, and pulled her into him. They kept dancing even as the tape changed to the next song – Only Wanna Be With You, by Hootie and the Blowfish.

‘This one is for when we almost broke up but didn’t,’ Jake said. ‘I made this dumb speech at Dozerman’s funeral – I said something like “I just care about being with you”.’

‘I think I remember,’ she said. ‘The funeral, not the speech. Were there bagpipes?’

Jake laughed. ‘Yep. The bagpipe guy kept interrupting us.’

And then Amy twirled Jake around, even though he was taller than her, and they laughed and almost fell over and steadied each other. The song changed, and they stopped to breathe, and they swayed and they spun and they did all the ridiculous dance moves they could think of.

‘Step up your game, Peralta,’ Amy said. ‘Put your shoulders into it.’

‘Maybe _you_ need to put your ankles into it,’ Jake said, doing a weird step thing with his feet. And Amy laughed, and grabbed his hands, and they twirled around together.

And then the song changed again: something slower, full of longing and loneliness.

‘This is about all the times we were separated,’ Jake said, still holding onto her. ‘I was in witness protection, and then I was in prison, and, yeah. It was tough.’

‘It must have been horrible,’ Amy said. She pressed herself against Jake, wrapped her arms around him, moving slowly to the music.

_ Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear_

_I'm a better person when I have you here_

‘We got through it,’ Jake said.

She rested her head against his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body the way she had when they had slept beside each other, when they had kissed. And, this time, he didn’t run away.

They broke apart as the song ended, turning into something with a refrain of _let’s get married_.

‘This song’s about us getting married,’ Jake said.

I wouldn’t have guessed,’ Amy said, sarcastically. She reached for her drink.

‘We’re nearly at the end of the tape,’ Jake said. ‘What do you think?’

‘I like it,’ Amy said. And then, teasing, ‘A bit sappy, though.’

‘Turns out, I _am_ a bit sappy.’

‘Thank you,’ Amy said, sincerely. ‘For everything.’

Jake grinned. ‘My pleasure.’

The song changed again – Amy didn’t know it, but she could tell it was Taylor Swift from the voice. Jake was mouthing the lyrics, and for some reason that was kind of adorable. He was flushed from all the dancing, his hair a mess, and it reminded her of how he had looked after their disastrous kisses. Except, this time, he was happy.

She put down her drink. Stepped closer to him, smiled, moved into his personal space. Once again, he let her, his hands drifting to her waist and holding her close.

_Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night _

_Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright_

‘Can I kiss you?’ Amy said, before she thought better of it.

_Three times 'cause I waited my whole life_

‘Yeah,’ Jake breathed.

‘You won’t freak out?’

Jake nudged his nose against hers. ‘I won’t.’

Amy took Jake’s face in her hands and slowly brought their lips together. They sank into it, natural, practised. Amy didn’t remember all the times she had kissed Jake before, but she felt an echo of them in this moment.

_I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings_

_Uh huh, that's right_

_Darling, you're the one I want_

Amy tilted her head, pressing into Jake’s mouth. He kissed her intently, held her close with a hand on the small of her back. It felt the same as when they had been dancing, the same connection of bodies, but this was better. Because Amy knew what she was doing, and because Jake’s mouth on hers was incredible.

Jake pulled back, just a little. ‘2013 Amy was _not_ this into me.’

Amy laughed. ‘2013 Amy didn’t know you properly.’ She kissed him again. ‘And she didn’t know what she was missing.’

And they were kissing again, hungrily, as Taylor Swift continued to sing in the background. Amy touched Jake’s hair, his chest, his back, and then slid one experimental hand down to his butt. He let out a noise into her mouth, like he was trying to hold back a full-on moan. Amy liked it, wanted to hear more. She wanted Jake to be bolder with his hands, wanted his weight on top of her.

The song faded out to nothing – they were at the end of the tape. Amy squeezed Jake’s butt again, and then broke the kiss. Gave him a sly smile, so he would know everything was okay. Walked across the room and pressed _stop_ on the cassette player, turned and walked back.

She reached behind her back, watching Jake’s face carefully. He gazed back at her, equally intense, as she slowly dragged the zipper down her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If listening to a cassette tape leads to you having sex, is it a... sex tape?
> 
> Here's all the songs, I know it's not enough for a tape but it's enough for a chapter and that's what matters XD  
All Out Of Love - Air Supply  
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic -the Police (Is this a reference to This Noise is Ours by Amydancepantsperalta? Yes.)  
Only Wanna Be With You - Hootie and the Blowfish  
So Far Away - Mary Lambert  
Let's Get Married - Bleachers  
Paper Rings -Taylor Swift


	9. Modus Operandi

‘Okay?’ Amy said, quietly. Jake nodded.

She let the sleeves of the dress slip off her shoulders and the whole thing fell away, pooling around her feet. Jake looked at her in awe, like he’d never seen this before, like they weren’t married.

‘Beautiful,’ he said. He pushed her hair away from her shoulder, kissed her collarbone. She shivered as his hand brushed over the bare skin of her back.

‘I want-’ she said.

Jake kissed her chest, just above her bra. ‘Hmm?’

‘You,’ she said.

He pulled back. ‘_Me_?’ he said, all coyness and faux innocence.

‘You.’ She wanted to touch him, to kiss every inch of his skin. She wanted him against her. She wanted her body to feel something other than _bruised_.

‘Are you sure?’ he said.

‘_Yes_,’ she said. ‘Are you?’

‘Of course I am.’ Jake kissed her. ‘God, Ames, I want you so bad. But I didn’t want to… you know, push you into anything.’

‘I know.’ Amy kissed him.

She took him to the bedroom, undid his tie, got distracted by his hands on her arms and shoulders and hips. His hands turned her whole body into a nerve ending, lit her up. ‘Jake,’ she sighed as he kissed her ear. ‘Let me take your shirt off.’

He laughed against her skin. ‘Yes, yes, anything.’ He sank onto the bed, pulling her into his lap.

Amy undid the top button of his shirt, and the next, and the next. For the first time, and the thousandth time, she let her gaze roam over Jake’s bare chest, kissed his shoulder, trailed her fingertips over his skin. She had seen him shirtless a few times before – a few times that she _remembered_ – and although the soft definition of his body was familiar, the feeling it elicited wasn’t. She ducked her head to kiss his chest, needing to _taste_ him. She reached for his belt buckle.

Jake’s hands slid up her back, expertly unhooked her bra. ‘Okay?’ he murmured. She nodded, allowed him to slide it off. She felt exposed, a little self-conscious, but the way Jake looked at her made up for it. He kissed her chest lightly as she unbuckled his belt.

And then he took her by the hips, flipped her over and pressed her into the bed.

‘_Oh_,’ she said, and Jake smirked down at her as he drew back to undo his jeans. She gazed unabashedly at his body as he kicked his jeans off, and then said, ‘Get over here, Peralta.’

‘With pleasure,’ he said, and then he was on her, kissing her again.

Her kissed his way down her chest and stomach, glancing up repeatedly to make questioning eye contact, checking she was okay. And she was _so_ okay, so ready for this. He kissed her through her underwear, lips soft, touches gentle.

‘Want me to keep going?’ he murmured, fingers brushing over her.

‘Yes,’ she said, reaching down to run a hand through his hair.

He trailed two fingertips against her through her underwear and then dipped them underneath, pressing against her and making her gasp. He looked at her like she was a marvel, like she was the best thing he’d ever seen.

He slid her underwear off, and Amy allowed herself to relax as he kissed his way up her thigh. And then his mouth was on her, and it made sense that he would know exactly what she liked but it surprised her anyway, overwhelmed her, and Amy closed her eyes and gripped Jake’s hair and wondered why on earth she hadn’t done this sooner.

Afterwards, Jake crawled up her body to kiss her, and Amy tasted herself on his mouth and wanted even more of him.

‘I want you _inside_ me,’ she groaned.

‘We can’t,’ Jake said. ‘We don’t have any condoms.’

‘I have an – oh.’ The miscarriage, the pregnancy she couldn’t remember. Amy touched the soft skin of her left arm, where the hard line of her implant used to be.

‘Are you okay?’ Jake kissed her shoulder.

‘Yeah,’ Amy said. ‘Just weird. I’m not used to not being prepared.’

Jake tilted his head up to press kisses into her neck, nip at her skin. ‘We can get condoms,’ he said. ‘I mean, for next time. If you want to do this again.’

He kept kissing her, until Amy found herself relaxing again. ‘For next time,’ she repeated, and rolled onto her side. She pressed her mouth to his, kissing him deeply and dragging a hand through his hair. She trailed her other hand down his body, and Jake gasped when she touched him.

Amy broke away from the kiss. ‘Missed this?’ she murmured.

‘Oh, yeah,’ Jake breathed, and she laughed. He nudged his forehead against hers. ‘I’ma stop talking before I say something embarrassing,’ he mumbled. ‘Or before I screw things up again.’

‘It’s okay.’ Amy kissed him, gently. ‘Things have been crazy. Things _are_ crazy.’

‘But I-’ Jake let out a strangled groan. ‘We should have this conversation when you’re not – _Ames_. But I’m serious – I’m sorry – I wanted to make things as not-difficult for you as I should and I – fuck.’ His eyes were shut, his breathing ragged.

‘What’s that?’ Amy teased.

‘Should have slept somewhere else from the start,’ Jake said. ‘Shouldn’t have – I, _ah_ – should have slowed down. I never think before I-’

‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘Jake, we don’t have to talk about this right now.’

Jake opened his eyes. ‘I love you,’ he said. ‘And I know you don’t love me right now, but – _oh_ – that’s okay, I just want you to know that – _oh, fuck-_’

Amy laughed, tightened her grip. ‘Do you ever stop talking?’

‘No,’ Jake said with a shaky laugh. ‘You’ll have to get used to it.’

‘If I did it before,’ Amy murmured. ‘I guess I can do it again.’

Jake’s eyes fluttered shut again, his hips rocking forwards into her hand. ‘Amy-’

‘Jake.’

‘Wanna do whatever I can for you-’

‘Shh, it’s okay. We can talk later.’

‘Ames, that’s so good.’

‘Are you gonna come for me, baby?’

‘Yes – fuck – so close.’

‘Jake-’

‘Kiss me.’

‘I hope this doesn’t make things weird between us,’ Jake said, later. They were lying on their sides, face to face, close but not quite touching. Reminiscent of the night they spent sleeping side by side.

‘Title of our sex tape,’ Amy said.

Jake laughed. ‘Sometimes it’s like being with 2013 Amy and 2019 Amy at the same time, and sometimes I’m like, you’re all the same Amy.’

‘What?’

Jake entwined her hand with his. ‘I don’t know.’ He brought their hands up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m glad I get to do it with you.’ His face lit up suddenly. ‘Now _that’s_ the title of our sex tape.’

In that moment, Amy liked him so, _so_ much. Liked him in the way that made her chest hurt. ‘I think I underestimated you,’ she said.

‘Nah,’ Jake said. ‘We were just waiting for our right moment.’

‘Jake, what you said earlier…’

‘While you were giving me a hand job?’ Jake gave a self-deprecating grin. ‘I really know how to pick my moments.’

‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘I promise I’m not mad at you, about anything. Things have been difficult, but I know they must be hard for you in a whole different way. I can’t even imagine what it must be like.’

‘But this isn’t about me,’ Jake said. ‘This is about _you_, Ames. I want you to set the pace.’

‘I really like you,’ Amy admitted. ‘More than I ever thought I would. But maybe we should keep things, you know, light and breezy for now.’

‘Uh.’ Jake shifted. ‘That’s what we said last time. Light and breezy. It turned out more _have_ _sex and give the captain a heart attack_-y.’

‘I guess if no-one dies this time, it’s an improvement?’

Jake laughed. ‘True.’

‘So… light and breezy?’

‘Sure,’ Jake said. ‘I mean, we just had sex. So…’

‘Light and breezy sex,’ Amy said.

‘I just wanna say…’ Jake said. ‘I know this isn’t great for either of us. But I’d always rather be weird and confused and stressed out with you than not know you at all.’

‘Me too,’ Amy said. She reached out for his hand, squeezed it. Jake smiled.

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Light and breezy starts now. Officially. Should I go back to Gina’s?’

‘You probably shouldn’t drive.’

‘I could sleep on the couch?’

‘It’s fine,’ Amy said. ‘Stay here. But sleep at Gina’s tomorrow.’

As they walked into work the next day, Amy slightly regretted the decision to let Jake stay over. It had been nice, sleeping beside him again. Warm. Comfortable. But she saw Charles glance at the two of them as they walked into the briefing together. To his credit, he didn’t say anything, just turned away and tried to hide his grin. It was possible he had learned a _little_ discretion in the past six years.

Still, she made a point of sitting next to Rosa - she didn’t want anyone getting carried away thinking about what this might mean. Least of all Jake. Least of all _herself_.

She worked with her uniformed officers, she ate lunch with some of them, she took the subway home by herself. But she felt lighter now, happier than she had two days ago. She hadn’t heard from Jake, and she made herself wait until the next day before she messaged him. Light and breezy, and all that.

**Amy**: Want to do something Friday night?

His reply pinged back quickly.

**Jake**: Sure! Your place or mine?

**Jake**: Just kidding

Amy rolled her eyes at her phone, but she was smiling.


	10. The Crime Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake continue their 'light and breezy' relationship.

_When Jake’s phone rang, he figured it would be the Captain. Jake and Rosa had been staking out a certain intersection all evening, and Holt was bound to want some kind of update. Jake wasn’t going to have much to say to him: they had seen no illegal activity at all, especially not anything connected to their case. His butt hurt from sitting still for too long. Rosa had pushed her seat all the way back, feet up on the dash, looking as bored as he felt._

_It wasn’t the Captain._

_‘Hello?’ Jake said._

_‘Is this Mr Santiago?’_

_‘Yes,’ Jake said. ‘I mean, no. I mean, Jake Peralta-Santiago?’_

_‘Oh, yeah, right,’ she said. ‘Um. I’ve gotta tell you something.’ The woman’s voice cracked, like she was trying not to cry._

_Jake sat up straight, suddenly alert, braced for danger. ‘What’s going on?’ he said._

_‘I got your number from your wife’s emergency contact thingy,’ the woman said, shakily. ‘On her phone.’_

_‘Why?’ Jake said. ‘What happened?’_

_The woman started crying in earnest. ‘There’s been a car crash,’ she said. ‘Your wife – we called an ambulance for her. I don’t know what – how bad it was – the car was pretty smashed up.’_

_Jake’s whole body was cold. ‘Where?’ he said. ‘What hospital are they taking her to?’_

_‘What’s going on?’ Rosa said. She sat up, pulled her seatbelt on._

_‘Here.’ Jake shoved the phone at her, fumbled for his own seatbelt. ‘Find out where we – fuck, we have to-’_

_He put the car into drive, pulled out from the curb, stakeout forgotten._

_‘Take a left,’ Rosa said. ‘I know where we’re going.’_

_‘Yeah, cool, coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool-’_

_‘Is it Amy?’ Rosa said, cutting across Jake’s ramblings._

_‘Yeah,’ Jake said. He was shaking. ‘Oh my god, Rosa. Fuck. Fuck. I don’t know – they didn’t say – and she’s pregnant – and – and-’_

_‘Jake,’ she said, firm and almost steady. ‘Try to stay calm, okay? Get us to the hospital.’_

_‘Right,’ he said. ‘Right.’_

_Later, in a fluorescent-lit waiting corridor, Rosa said, ‘I’m guessing you weren’t meant to tell me about Amy being pregnant.’_

_Jake felt wrung out. He felt the same way he had after the third time that prison guard had beaten him up: sore, and exhausted, and horribly resigned to the hell that his life had become. He had spent the past few hours stroking Amy’s hair as she lay unconscious, and crying, and talking to doctors, and touching Amy’s hand just to feel her pulse, and pacing around, and crying._

_‘Well,’ he said. ‘Doesn’t matter. She’s not pregnant anymore.’_

_‘Shit,’ Rosa said. ‘I’m sorry.’_

_That morning, Jake had woken up and kissed Amy and joked around about who was going to make coffee. They had eaten granola together, and she had said something about the baby, and he had suggested a couple of ridiculous names, and she had laughed._

_And now she was unconscious, her face a mess of bruises and stitched cuts. ‘We won’t know for sure until she wakes up,’ the doctor had said, ‘but there may be some brain damage.’_

_And there was no baby._

_‘What if-’ Jake said. ‘What if. Rosa. I…’_

_‘Let’s go sit down,’ Rosa said._

_In something of a daze, Jake followed her down the corridor and into the waiting room. And the whole squad was there, looking at him anxiously, jumping to their feet._

_‘Jakey,’ Charles said, with a look of anguish. ‘How is she?’_

_‘She’s gonna be okay,’ Jake said. ‘Maybe. Sort of. They don’t know for sure.’_

_He held his arms out pathetically, and Charles enfolded him in a hug. ‘Oh, Jakey,’ he said, holding his close, almost crying. And then Terry was hugging him, and then Gina, and then Holt was awkwardly and sternly trying to console him, and even Holt looked devastated, and everything hurt._

_‘You guys should go home,’ Jake said, eventually. ‘What time is it?’_

_It was three in the morning. Everyone except Gina had to be at the precinct in five hours’ time._

_‘You should get some sleep as well,’ Terry said._

_‘Okay,’ Jake said, not planning on going home, not planning on leaving Amy ever again._

_‘Obviously you will not be expected at work tomorrow,’ Holt said. ‘I would appreciate it if you could keep me up to date.’_

_Jake fell asleep in a hard hospital chair beside Amy’s bed._

‘_So_…’ Charles said. ‘What’s happening with you and Jake?’

‘Did you come down here just to ask about me and Jake?’ Amy said.

‘Maybe,’ Charles said. ‘But also, downstairs coffee is better. Don’t tell Rosa I said that – there’s a whole upstairs-downstairs thing going on.’ They were in the breakroom on Amy’s floor, which was identical to the break room upstairs except that it was usually full of people Amy didn’t know very well but was nonetheless in charge of. She still wasn’t used to it, and it was comforting to see a familiar face there.

‘Me and Jake are pretty good,’ Amy said, unable to hide her smile.

‘I knew it!’ Charles said. ‘It’s impossible for you two to be apart when you have such a deep connection.’

Which was a weird way of putting it, but Amy suspected that Charles was right. ‘I hope so,’ she said. ‘It’s hard finding the right pace to move at when he remembers everything and I don’t, you know.’

‘You should try washing each other’s hair,’ Charles said. ‘Fixes all relationship problems.’

‘Aren’t you divorced?’

‘Fixes all problems in a _good_ relationship,’ he amended. And then, very seriously, ‘And you and Jake have a good relationship.’

Amy had heard that a lot, but it was nice to hear it again. Reassuring. ‘I’m seeing him again tonight,’ she said.

‘You should wash his hair,’ Charles said. ‘Jake loves having his hair touched.’

Amy made a face. ‘How do you know that?’

‘I get proper guy-talk out of him eventually,’ Charles said. ‘Sometimes. When he’s drunk.’

‘Well. Okay then.’

Charles just grinned at her. ‘Have fun on your date!’ And with that, he was gone.

‘And then Gary started asking me what I want for Christmas,’ Amy said. ‘That’s so weird! I’m his boss!’

‘Also it’s the middle of November,’ Jake added.

Amy stopped to unlock the door of the apartment. ‘We need to plan something for Thanksgiving,’ she said, as they stepped inside. ‘And I need to call the car insurance company – I can’t believe I haven’t sorted that out yet. I should probably get a new car, shouldn’t I? And I need to call my parents – I have so much to do. And I have to politely tell Gary not to get me a Christmas present!’

‘It’s okay,’ Jake said. ‘You’ve got plenty of time to sort that stuff out.’

‘Right,’ she said, making a mental note to deal with everything the next day. ‘Tonight’s meant to be fun.’

Jake opened his backpack and pulled out a bag of popcorn, a bottle of rum, and a packet of condoms.

‘I – uh – I see how this looks,’ he said, laughing. ‘But I didn’t know what you’d want to do, so I prepared for all possibilities.’

_Oh, mama. _‘That’s so organised of you.’

Jake smirked at her. ‘I know.’

Amy considered her options for a moment, and then grabbed the bottle of rum. ‘Wanna play a drinking game?’ she said.

‘Oh, I definitely do.’ Jake went to the cabinets and came back with two glasses – it was still weird how at home he was in her apartment. ‘Do you have any mixers?’

‘Heck yeah I do.’ Amy went to the fridge, dug out two cans of coke, and poured them both drinks.

‘To… light and breezy dates,’ Jake said, holding his glass up.

‘Sure, I’ll drink to that.’ Amy tapped her glass against his.

‘Ooh, let’s play Never Have I Ever!’

‘Seems like you’d have an unfair advantage in that game.’

They walked into the living room and settled themselves on the couch.

‘_Yeah_, that’s why I wanted to play it,’ Jake said.

Amy laughed. ‘Fine. Never have I ever worn a speedo to work.’

‘I deserved that,’ Jake said, and took a sip of his drink. ‘Never have I ever run the worst ‘at risk youth’ programme ever.’

‘I’m sure it wasn’t the worst one _ever_,’ Amy said, but she drank anyway. ‘Never have I ever arrested someone because he made fun of me and then kept the whole squad in all weekend to find evidence.’

Jake drank. ‘Never have I ever shot my boyfriend.’

‘This is stupid,’ Amy said. ‘We’re just gonna go back and forth saying things the other person’s done.’

‘Yeah, maybe this isn’t meant to be a two-player game,’ Jake conceded.

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Truth or dare?’

‘Dare.’

‘I dare you to do shots with me.’

‘Wow, you’re really getting’ wild tonight, Santiago,’ Jake said with a smirk. He went to the kitchen and came back with two shot glasses. Amy filled them with rum, and they drank.

‘Argh,’ Jake said. ‘I always forget how bad that feels. Truth or dare?’

‘Truth.’

‘If you had to choose between sex with me or dinner with Holt and Kevin, which would you pick?’

‘Holt and Kevin, obviously,’ Amy teased.

‘Should’ve seen that coming.’

‘Truth or dare?’

‘Truth.’

‘Uh…’ Amy floundered for a question.

‘Come on, it can’t be that hard,’ Jake said. ‘There’s a tonne of things you don’t know about me. Oh, right, you’re still on One Drink Amy.’

‘Yeah,’ Amy took a swig of her drink. ‘Gotta get up to two. Okay… when did you realise you liked me?’

‘Easy,’ Jake said. ‘It was on the rooftop of 397 Barton street, after I won our bet.’

Amy frowned. ‘You took me to a rooftop on our date?’

‘Our date got interrupted by work,’ Jake said. ‘And it was basically the best thing that ever happened. We just hung out and goofed around, and then we caught the perps and it was awesome.’

‘That sounds like a pretty good first date.’

‘It was.’ Jake gave her a soft smile, and then he looked away and picked up his drink. ‘Truth or dare?’

They worked their way through several rounds of the game – mostly dares – and the rest of their drinks. Amy was losing track of time, more focused on the game and on Jake’s goofy grin and his mussed-up hair than on drinking.

‘Do you wanna play something else?’ Jake said, after a while.

‘We should play spin the bottle,’ Amy said, with a sly smile.

‘God, Santiago,’ Jake said. ‘If you want to kiss me that bad, just do it.’

Amy kissed him. And suddenly their hands were everywhere, and her heart was beating fast, and Jake’s tongue was in her mouth, and Amy kissed him and kissed him.

He pulled back, his lips just brushing against hers. ‘Truth or dare?’ he murmured.

‘Dare.’

‘I dare you to do something 2013 Amy would never have admitted she liked.’

Amy grinned, pushed him down onto the couch, seized his wrists and pinned them above his head. Jake let out a strangled gasp.

‘Oh, you like that,’ she said. ‘This is what you wanted, isn’t it?’

‘I was just trying to get you to watch _Die Hard_ with me,’ Jake said. ‘You came up with this all on your own.’

‘Liar.’ She kissed him, pressed herself against him without releasing his hands. Rolled her hips against his.

‘Yep, yep, you got me,’ Jake said, as soon as he could speak again. ‘I wanted -’ And they were kissing again before he could finish the sentence.

The next time they broke apart, Amy said, ‘Let’s go to the bedroom.’

‘Smort.’

She climbed off him, and when he stood up he kissed her again. And then they kissed in the doorway, and in the hall, and finally into the bedroom before falling onto the bed together.

Amy reached up to touch Jake’s hair. She had done this when they had sex before, but this time she was deliberate about it, combing through his curls, scratching her fingertips across his scalp. Jake made a grateful noise into her mouth, and when she gripped his hair and tugged on it he let out a full-on moan. Apparently, Charles had been onto something, and it thrilled her to know what Jake liked in the same when he knew what _she_ liked.

Jake rolled them over so she was on top of him, kissing her with a little more aggression as he slid a hand between them and unbuttoned her pants. He pulled them open enough that he could slide his hand in, feeling her over her underwear, and Amy gasped.

When she broke the kiss, Jake was smirking at her. It was annoying and sexy all at once – Amy wanted to wipe that expression off his face, wanted to break his arrogance. Wanted to kiss him and kiss him and -

‘We left the condoms in the kitchen,’ she remembered.

Jake groaned. ‘I’ll get them,’ he said. She reluctantly slid off him and he stood up, his arousal visible in everything from his flushed face to the erection straining against his jeans.

‘Be quick,’ Amy said.

‘I’ll be super quick,’ he said. ‘Title of – yep, no, I’ll go get them.’

And Amy took her top off just to speed things up, and lay back on the bed and waited for Jake. She was smiling, stupidly. Light and breezy, she reminded herself. She couldn’t wait for Jake to get back, to have his hands are his lips on her again, the weight of his body on top of hers. _Light and breezy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been procrastinating posting this for no reason at all. Hopefully it won't be too long until the next chapter?


	11. Forensics

Amy woke up to something hitting her.

It took her a disoriented moment to realise that it was just Jake, thrashing in his sleep. She gently wriggled away from him, and he lashed out again and made a panicked noise.

‘Jake,’ she said. ‘_Jake_.’ He woke with a start, breathing heavily. ‘Hey,’ she said softly. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Ames,’ he said, groggily.

She shuffled closer again, reaching out for him. ‘Bad dream?’

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘You were in prison, and I was trying to see you, but the guard wasn’t letting me, and then I realised the guard was Jimmy Figgis.’

‘Does that happen a lot?’

‘Yeah,’ he mumbled. ‘I mean, not as much as it used to. But, sometimes.’

‘Oh, sweetheart.’ She hugged him properly.

‘It’s fine,’ he said. ‘Like, not _fine_, but, you know. We have other problems.’

‘We’re allowed to have multiple problems,’ Amy said. She remembered all the bits and pieces of things people had mentioned to her, the story Jake had told her in the hospital waiting room. ‘It sounds like you’ve been through some shit. I mean, we have.’

‘I think maybe you have not enough memories, and I have too many,’ Jake said.

‘Who’s Jimmy Figgis?’

‘Reason I went to witsec.’

Amy’s stomach twisted at the thought of Jake stuck somewhere, unable to contact his friends, scared and lonely. She wanted to help him, to make everything better for him, but she didn’t know _how_. She didn’t know how to be his wife, didn’t know how to be his light-and-breezy girlfriend.

‘Can I ask you something else?’ she said, tentatively.

‘Sure.’

‘Are you in therapy?’

Jake tensed a little. ‘Yeah. Um. Since not that long ago.’

What did _that_ mean? She didn’t want to press it. ‘I’m glad,’ she said.

‘I - after your accident, I kind of kept bailing on it,’ he admitted. ‘I guess I didn’t want to talk about it. And about the baby, and you not remembering, and everything. But I’ve been going the past couple of weeks.’

‘That’s good,’ Amy said. She had been going to therapy herself since the accident. There was only so much it could accomplish – Amy was still missing her memories, after all, and without them her life was bound to be a mess – but she wasn’t crying nearly as much as she had been that first week.

She pushed her face into Jake’s shoulder, listened to him breathe. She thought he had gone back to sleep, but after a while he carefully shifted onto his side. She moved closer, moved a cautious hand to his waist, and he took it and pulled it over his body. She pressed herself up against him, spooning him properly, and this time they both fell asleep.

As Amy walked into work a few weeks later, her phone lit up with a message.

**Jake**: Nobody believes that I can dunk a basketball

**Jake**: I need you to come up here and tell them!

She hoped that ‘light and breezy’ didn’t have a limit on how often you could text. It was fine, she figured, when she and Jake didn’t see much of each other in real life.

**Amy**: Not gonna happen.

**Jake**: Aaaaaaaaaames

**Amy**: The only time I remember you trying you used a ladder and STILL failed.

**Jake**: It wasn’t that bad

**Amy**: You broke a rib.

**Jake**: I swear I’ve done it tho!! You’ll remember when you get ur memories back

**Amy**: I’ll look forward to it.

**Jake**: Dinner tonight?

**Amy**: Maybe. I think I might be coming down with something.

**Jake**: Awww hope u feel better soon

**Amy**: Thanks x

She slid her phone back into the pocket of her Sargent’s uniform, smiling to herself. Things had been going pretty well with Jake recently: it had been three weeks since their first date – their second first date – three weeks of texting and flirting and sleeping in different apartments most nights.

Light and breezy was working for them – at least, as well as she could have expected. Jake didn’t seem to mind sleeping at Gina’s place anymore, and Gina hadn’t kicked him out yet, so that was good. They hung out one or two nights a week, occasionally saw each other at work and exchanged smiles and a minute or two of banter.

It felt… normal. That feeling that Amy had been craving ever since her accident, ever since she woke up covered in bruises and they told her she was married.

It was good. What _wasn’t_ good was feeling too ill to go out with Jake. Amy wondered if she was getting the flu. She hoped not – she _hated_ being ill, it felt like her body was letting her down. She was tired, and slightly queasy, and for some reason her breasts were hurting…

And then something occurred to her. She checked her calendar, did the maths in her head. Oh, _no_.

Amy got up, walked up the stairs, made a beeline for Rosa’s desk.

‘I need to talk to you,’ she said. ‘Right now. Can we go somewhere private? Ladies’ room?’

Rosa frowned, but she must have been able to see how much Amy was freaking out because she got up and followed her without asking any questions. When Amy was sure they were alone, she took a deep breath and said, ‘My period’s late.’

Rosa folded her arms. ‘How late?’

‘A week.’ Amy’s eyes prickled.

‘You think you’re pregnant again,’ Rosa said.

‘Yep.’

‘You don’t know for sure,’ Rosa said. ‘That happened to me once – it was terrible – Holt was there.’

‘_Why_?’

‘I was dating his nephew – that’s not the point. It turned out to be nothing. There’s no point freaking out until you take a pregnancy test.’

Amy nodded, fighting to keep her breathing under control. ‘Right.’

‘I’m going to run to the drug store across the street,’ Rosa said. ‘Meet me back here.’

‘I might just… not leave,’ Amy said.

Rosa gave her the flicker of a look that might just have been sympathy. ‘Okay. I’ll be right back.’

Amy paced around the room while she waited for Rosa to come back, her stomach a tight knot of fear. She knew she should make a plan, should think about what she would do in the possible outcomes of this situation, but the planning part of her brain wasn’t working. All she could think was that this wasn’t supposed to be _happening_, not now, and not like this.

She jumped when the door opened, but it was just Rosa.

‘Right,’ she said, setting her carrier bag down in the sink. She pulled out a bottle of soda and a cardboard package. ‘Drink this, pee on this. I got two different ones so you can be sure.’

‘Okay.’ Amy’s voice came out as little more than a whisper.

She took a few mouthfuls of soda before she realised she needed to pee anyway. Maybe it was the nerves, maybe it was – definitely the nerves. She took both the pregnancy tests into a cubicle, tried not to think about what this might mean, tried not to think about what was going to happen, tried not to think about Rosa standing on the other side of the partition.

She came out. Set both tests on the counter by the sinks. Washed her hands slowly, carefully. She wondered about the last time she had taken a pregnancy test, wondered if Jake had been there, wondered how he had reacted. He must have been happy, the kind of happy Amy hadn’t seen since her accident.

She put her hands under the electric dryer, turned them over in the heat until they were bone dry. She felt worse than she had when she got into work, nerves turning her stomach into a tight, anxious knot.

Rosa didn’t say anything, just stood patiently against the wall, holding her phone with a timer on it. When it finished and the alarm sounded, Amy jumped.

‘Ready?’ Rosa said.

‘No.’

Amy walked back over to the sink counter, Rosa at her side. She picked up the pregnancy tests. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, in any version of her life she had imagined. She should have been anxiously awaiting a positive result, but instead she was just _anxious_. And she should have been at home, should have been with her husband, should have been trying to get pregnant, should have remembered her wedding, should have _remembered_.

In the moment before she looked at the pregnancy tests, Amy had a sudden feeling that she knew exactly what they were going to say. One of them came out with two bars. The other one was the fancy kind that came up with words. _Pregnant_.

Amy was pregnant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was finished ages ago but I've kind of fallen out of love with this story, mostly because the ending I have planned is pretty dumb. But since Trying is coming out this week, I thought I'd better beat them to the punch. Please let me know what you think, it might even motivate me to finish the last couple of chapter XD


	12. Undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy contemplates her options and makes some decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful comments, especially on the last chapter!

‘I…’ Amy didn’t know what to say. She was feeling everything, and nothing. ‘Oh my god. I don’t even know how to react to this.’

‘That’s… probably not good,’ Rosa said.

Amy prided herself on her timing, on her punctuality, on her ability to plan and schedule anything. But _this_ timing was appalling. Right when things with Jake had felt okay, when she had had some stability, had known where they stood, a huge wrench had been thrown into their relationship.

‘Oh _god_,’ she said. ‘But we’re not trying to – it’s not – everything’s so weird right now. Me and Jake aren’t even serious – I mean, we _are_ but we _aren’t_. And I’ve been drinking! Oh my god.’

‘It’s okay,’ Rosa said. ‘Listen, Amy. It’s gonna be fine.’

‘No, it isn’t!’ Amy said. ‘Oh my god, I really need a cigarette. Fuck!’ She was shaking. She felt _ill_.

‘We’ll figure it out,’ Rosa said. ‘It’s gonna be okay.’

‘It’s _not_.’ Amy’s voice cracked, tears welling in her eyes. ‘We were doing so well! And now this is just making things complicated all over again! Oh my god, I have to tell Jake.’

‘Yeah.’

‘How am I going to tell him?’

_What_ was she going to tell him? _Hey, Jake, remember when we thought we were having a baby together? Because I don’t! _Amy started laughing, a little hysterically, and then she was crying as well, and Rosa was awkwardly reaching out for her, and then Amy wasn’t laughing anymore and was just crying.

‘Hey,’ Rosa said. ‘Uh.’ She put an awkward hand on Amy’s shoulder, and then seemed to think better of it and enfolded her in a hug.

‘You said, _again_,’ Amy remembered suddenly.

‘What?’

‘Earlier. You said, “You think you’re pregnant _again_”. How did you know I was pregnant before? Jake said we hadn’t told anyone.’

‘Jake told me,’ Rosa said. ‘By mistake, when you were in the accident. I’m sorry.’

‘Okay,’ Amy said. Yet more new information, crowding into her head and jostling for space. ‘Okay.’

What was she going to do? She could – she could –

She put on her Captain Voice inside her head, told herself to _breathe_. She could figure this out. She just needed a plan.

‘There’s two options,’ she decided. ‘And several sub-options.’

‘Right.’

‘I could…’ Amy hesitated. ‘I could get rid of it.’

She couldn’t imagine getting an abortion. Not because she was _against_ them – she firmly believed in the importance of choice – but because it seemed too much like missing out on a chance to have something she wanted. And hadn’t she promised to be kind to the life 2019 Amy had built? How did an abortion fit into that resolution?

And she wasn’t getting any younger. She was thirty-one – no. No. She was thirty-_seven_. She didn’t have forever to wait for the right time to have a family, especially when the situation with her amnesia was so unpredictable.

But on the other hand, she couldn’t avoid how bad this timing was. And she couldn’t help worrying that this would damage her relationship with Jake, put too much pressure on it. And her career was already unsteady after her accident…

‘That’s an option,’ Rosa said.

‘Yeah,’ Amy said. ‘And the other option is, I keep it. Sub-option A: I let Jake move back in with me and we carry on like the accident never happened, and I just sort of hope my memories come back. Or sub-option B: we try to keep things casual. _Somehow_.’

Amy had always wanted kids, had always wanted to make her own family. She had daydreamed about taking toddlers to the playground, about first days of school, about birthdays and Christmases. She had read parenting blogs, forming strong opinions on right and wrong ways to do things. She had vowed not to be like her own parents.

And she had imagined her ruggedly handsome but sensible husband cooking them nutritious meals and reading them bedtime stories, had imagined the two of them commiserating over late-night feeds and day-to-day frustrations. This future husband was going to be sweet, was always going to make the kids eat their vegetables, was going to be just the right amount of stern.

He definitely wasn’t going to be Jake Peralta.

‘I don’t know,’ Amy said. ‘I don’t know.’

‘It’s okay,’ Rosa said. ‘You don’t have to tell Jake until you’re ready. We can figure this out. You and me.’

‘Hey!’ Jake said, trying to act like he hadn’t taken a detour across the parking lot to see her, even though he obviously had. ‘Felling better?’

Amy’s stomach swooped. ‘Kind of,’ she said.

‘Good!’ Jake’s grin was far too big.

‘I’m tired though,’ Amy said, before he could invite her out for dinner. ‘I’m just going to have a quiet evening.’

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Coolcoolcoolcool. Have a good night. I’ll message you. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Amy felt unbelievably terrible. This was so unfair. She had been in a life-threatening car crash less than six months before – hadn’t she had enough to deal with? Another wave of nausea washed over her, and she retched again before slumping back against the bathroom wall.

Amy had known she was pregnant for _weeks_, but it hadn’t felt so horribly real until this morning. She wondered if the months leading up to her accident had been like this. They must have been – but at least back then she had Jake to look after her, to hold her hair back when she was throwing up and make her plain toast and tell her everything was going to be fine.

She ran her hand through her sweaty hair, dreading the inevitable need to stand up and shower and get ready for work. She wanted to cry, she wanted Jake to be here, she never wanted to see Jake again, she wanted to curl into a ball on the bathroom floor and close her eyes and stop thinking about everything. Just for a little while.

She walked into work almost an hour later, still feeling sick and exhausted and slightly gross. Normally she would be thinking about making a cup of coffee, but now even the idea of coffee was making her feel queasy.

‘Good morning, Sarge!’ Gary said, far too chipperly.

‘Morning,’ Amy said, and sank into her desk chair.

She still hadn’t told Jake. She had looked up abortion clinics, had tried to imagine getting rid of the life growing inside her, and couldn’t face it. Amy wanted a baby. Despite how terrible she felt, despite the whole situation, there was a part of her that felt like this was it, this was the thing she had been missing.

She had lost one pregnancy. She wasn’t about to lose another.

So she had started planning instead. She had bought a new binder for baby stuff – the old one was too sad to look at – had made doctor’s appointments, had started taking folic acid. Had started researching midwifes and hospitals and antenatal groups.

Keeping the baby left her with options 2A and 2B, neither of which seemed appealing to her right now, and both of which meant telling Jake. It was becoming an issue. She had spent the past weeks blowing him off, ignoring his texts, and completely failing to act casual whenever he tried to talk to her. Which wasn’t what she wanted at all, but what else could she do right now?

She tried to get on with her work, but her mind was busy creating pros and cons list for each, and eventually she gave up on paperwork and jotted them down. It didn’t help. She texted Rosa.

**Amy**: I don’t know what to do.

**Amy**: I can’t even focus on work – this is terrible.

Her phone dinged with a reply almost straight away.

**Rosa**: Come upstairs. Coffee break.

**Amy**: I don’t think I can ever drink coffee again.

**Rosa**: Muffin break then. Charles made muffins. You can barely taste the courgette.

That made Amy crack a smile. Muffin break it was.

‘Look, I’m not trying to start anything,’ Terry was saying as Amy walked into the upstairs break room. ‘But a proper muffin should have _fibre_.’

‘If you think you’re such a muffin expert why don’t you bake your own?’ Charles retorted.

‘Maybe Terry _will_ bake his own muffins,’ Terry said.

Amy slid into a seat next to Rosa. ‘What is going _on_?’

‘I don’t know,’ Rosa said with a smirk. ‘But I love it.’

Holt came over from the coffee machine. ‘I have hypothesised that the squad requires a certain amount of competitive spirit to maintain equilibrium,’ he said. ‘With no heist this year, and no Jimmy Jab games and no… other foolish endeavours, it is falling to Jeffords and Boyle and their ridiculous food-based quibbles.’

‘Makes sense,’ Amy said, but it was drowned out by Charles loudly scoffing at Terry.

‘You think you can beat _me_ in a bake off? I own all of Mary Berry’s cookbooks!’

‘That’s a weird flex, man,’ Terry said.

‘Maybe we should do the heist,’ Amy suggested, without entirely knowing why. It felt like a memory was trying to break the surface of her consciousness and she couldn’t quite catch it.

Everyone looked at her.

‘We could,’ Holt said, thoughtfully. ‘If you feel up to it, of course.’

‘We totally should,’ Rosa said.

‘Ooh, this is great,’ Charles said. ‘We haven’t had a heist in so long!’

Jake walked in. ‘Did I hear the word ‘heist’?’ Amy looked at her hands rather than at him.

‘We’re doing the heist!’ Charles told him. ‘Amy said we should.’

‘Noice,’ Jake said. ‘Y’all’d better start making me a banner, because Jakey’s gonna claim his third title!’

‘If you win,’ Holt said, ‘It will be your second title. But you won’t win.’

‘Let’s do it tomorrow!’ Jake said. ‘That way no-one’s got time to scheme!’

‘It isn’t a holiday,’ Amy pointed out.

‘Tomorrow’s Australia Day,’ Rosa said.

Jake frowned. ‘How do you know that?’

‘I used to live in Australia.’

‘What?’ Jake said. ‘When?’

‘An Australia Day heist it is,’ Holt said. ‘I am giving you all a day off work tomorrow. Be here by twelve.’ He paused for dramatic effect. ‘It’s _heist time_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The timeline of this story is wonky, so don't think too hard about what month everything's happening in. One chapter to go! I'm gonna do it, folks!


	13. The Solve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad competes in a heist, but Amy finds something more important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! And somehow it ended up being perfectly timed to go with Valloeaster this week.

Amy remembered bits and pieces of previous heists, enough to know how important they had become to the squad. But that still didn’t quite prepare her for the experience of walking into work on January 26th.

The room was decked out in Australian flag bunting. Gina was sitting at her old desk, wearing a hat with corks dangling from the brim. Hitchcock was inexplicably wearing a poncho; Terry was wearing a t-shirt that said ‘reigning champion’ on it; Charles was wearing one that said ‘Bill’. Everyone was passing around a box of brownies as they trash-talked each other; the whole thing had the feeling of a weird party.

‘I see you are the last one here, Santiago,’ Holt said.

‘It’s eleven thirty!’

‘You gotta be prepared if you wanna win,’ Rosa said, from where she was sitting cross-legged on Gina’s desk. ‘Brownie?’

‘They’re maple-bacon,’ Charles said, proudly. Amy took a brownie: it was amazing.

Jake looked at Hitchcock. ‘You know it’s not Cinco de Mayo, right?’

‘It’s not?’ said Hitchcock. ‘Then why are we even here?’

He started to take the poncho off, but Jake stopped him and said, ‘Are you wearing a shirt under that?’

‘Of course not,’ Hitchcock said.

‘Yeah, maybe keep the poncho on.’

‘Since everyone is here,’ Holt said. ‘Perhaps we should begin early.’

‘Yes!’ Jake jumped to his feet. ‘Rosa, the passport.’ He held his hand and Rosa slapped a blue passport into it. Jake climbed up on a chair. ‘Okay, mates,’ he said, in a truly awful Australian accent. ‘We are competing for Rosa’s Australian passport. That she has. For some reason.’

‘It might be fake,’ Rosa said. ‘Or it might not be.’

‘Counterfeiting is illegal,’ Amy said. Rosa just raised an eyebrow at her.

‘Whoever has the passport at midnight,’ Jake continued. ‘Will be declared the ultimate human-slash-genius.’

‘This is gonna be my year!’ Charles said. ‘I can feel it.’

‘Nope,’ Rosa said. ‘You are going _down_.’

‘The heist has barely begun, and we are already free of all allegiances,’ Holt observed. ‘Interesting.’

Rosa pointed at him. ‘You’re going down too.’

‘Before we start,’ Amy said. ‘Show us Rosa’s passport photo.’

‘I can’t believe I let Jake talk me into this,’ Rosa groaned, as Jake gleefully rifled through her passport.

‘Oh my god!’ he said. ‘This is the best thing that ever happened.’

He got off the chair and showed the photo page to Amy: it contained a photo of a much younger Rosa with pink hair.

‘I’m never letting this go,’ Amy promised, and Rosa glared at her as Jake showed the phot around.

‘Not your best choice, boo,’ Gina said.

‘Coming from someone in that hat?’ Rosa growled.

‘I’m just letting the Australian spirit into my soul,’ Gina said.

‘Okay!’ Jake said. ‘Time to hide the passport. Next time we all see it, one of us will be the winner. And by one of us, I mean _me_.’

He climbed back onto the chair stood on his tiptoes to push up one of the panels of the ceiling, and chucked the passport into the cavernous space.

‘Can we agree to do this without breaking the ceiling?’ Terry said, anxiously. ‘Terry _really_ doesn’t want to have to report any more property damage.’

‘Come on, Terry,’ Jake said, jumping down from the chair. ‘It’s not a heist without property damage!’

‘I feel like there’s some other things missing,’ Amy said.

‘Halloween?’ Gina suggested. ‘You wearing a cute outfit? Oh wait, that’s always missing.’

‘I would have expected Bill to show up by now,’ Jake said.

‘Uh, I _am_ here,’ Charles said, pointing at his shirt.

‘You brought brownies with meat in them,’ Jake said.

‘Yeah, I bake in between getting into pyramid schemes and being a male prostitute,’ Charles said.

‘Okay.’ Jake apparently decided to ignore that. ‘Terry, as the last winner, you should do the honours.’

Terry turned to the assembled squad. ‘Let the Australia Day heist… begin!’

There was a pause.

‘What if I just got on a desk and got it out?’ Amy said.

‘By the way,’ Rosa said. ‘If anyone damages my passport, I will gut you.’

‘Cooool,’ said Jake. ‘Okay, Charles, wanna help me?’

‘Not this time, bud,’ Charles said. ‘I mean, what? I’m Bill!’ And with that, he walked off.

‘Okay,’ Jake said, again.

Holt scrutinised them all, and disappeared into his office. Rosa marched towards the elevators. Hitchcock and Scully went back to their desks, already deep in a discussion about lasagne.

‘Well, well, well,’ Gina said. ‘Terrence, would you like to join me for a discussion in the break room?’

Terry looked at her suspiciously. ‘Sure.’

And then only Amy and Jake were left.

‘So…’ he said. His eyes flicked to the ceiling.

‘Yeah.’ Amy tried to look like someone who hadn’t been avoiding her casual boyfriend slash husband for weeks. She wasn’t sure she did a good job of it.

Jake darted across the room, jumped up onto Rosa’s desk, and Amy went after him.

‘You think I’m gonna let you do that, Peralta?’ she said.

Jake grabbed a chair and balanced it on the desk and then climbed onto it. Amy winced just watching. Jake pushed up the nearest ceiling panel and stuck his head through the gap, using the flashlight on his phone.

‘Is it gone?’ he said. ‘I think it’s gone. How?’

‘I guess someone else got there already,’ Amy said, enigmatically.

Jake climbed down from the desk. ‘Or is this all part of my plan?’ He glanced around, and then lowered his voice. ‘Are you sure you’re okay for this?’

Amy’s stomach flipped over with guilt. (Which was better than it flipping over with nausea, _just_.) ‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘Totally fine. Super cool.’

‘It’s just you’ve been…’ Jake gestured vaguely. ‘Not yourself. Or even more not yourself.’

Amy folded her arms across her stomach automatically. ‘I’m fine.’

Jake’s jaw was set. ‘Of course you are.’

Amy resisted the urge to reach out and tough him, to comfort him. She missed the way he felt.

The elevator doors opened and Bill ran in, wearing a shirt that said _Charles_. Amy was still struggling to remember so much – why did she remember Bill, of all things?

‘I should have had a shirt made,’ Jake said.

By the evening, the precinct was in chaos. Holt had publicly betrayed Rosa, who was dressed as a firefighter. Gina had attempted to slip Terry sleeping pills but had been tricked into eating the drugged yoghurt herself and had passed out in the break room. Bill had got his leg stuck trying to climb through a window, and Terry had accidentally broken the glass trying to free him.

Amy knew she had won a heist before, even if she didn’t remember it, and she was pretty sure she had won again the year Jake had proposed to her. (Funny how she could think that now without it terrifying her.) But this was hurting her brain: there was too much she couldn’t predict, too much human chaos. It was a puzzle without a proper answer.

Or maybe she was losing her touch – maybe amnesia plus pregnancy was turning her brain to mush. Maybe this whole thing had been a mistake.

‘That’s not even the real passport!’ Rosa yelled. ‘That one’s _Austrian_!’

Holt looked at the passport in his hand. ‘Oh _my_.’

‘Then who has the real passport?’ Jake said.

‘We do!’ Charles said, dramatically stepping out from behind Terry and moving to stand next to Rosa. ‘That’s right, baby! Me and Ro-Ro were working together the whole time.’

‘Quick, I need some Australian trash talk,’ Jake said. ‘I’m gonna barbeque you like a shrimp! Mate!’

‘But where are you hiding it?’ Holt pondered.

‘Okay,’ Jake said. ‘Captain, you check the break room. I’ll check the evidence lockup. Terry –’

‘Terry’s not a part of this!’ Terry said. ‘I don’t trust you, Peralta.’

‘Harsh,’ Jake said.

‘Heists are dumb,’ Terry muttered, and strode back to his desk.

Everyone dispersed. Jake started off in the direction of the stairs and, figuring it was her best shot, Amy followed him.

She caught up with him when he got to the basement.

‘I need to see the footage from the second-floor security cameras!’ he declared. ‘It’s important detective stuff. You know, crimes to solve.’

A uniformed officer rolled his eyes. ‘I know it’s for the heist, Peralta. Use this one.’

Jake sat down. ‘C’mere,’ he said, glancing up at Amy. She felt a flash of the feeling that had been haunting her since the accident, that feeling that he knew an entirely different version of their relationship than she did. She took a step forwards and leant over his shoulder to watch the screen as Jake flicked through feeds from the different cameras.

Holt in the evidence lockup. Gina still asleep in the break room. Charles and Rosa sneaking out of a supply closet.

‘Did they seriously hide the passport in there?’ Amy said.

Jake clicked the mouse and the feed changed again, this time to Terry walking down the building’s back stairs.

‘I see you, Terrence,’ Jake said.

‘Do you think he knows something we don’t?’ Amy said.

‘Rosa and Charles wouldn’t be dumb enough to hide the passport on our floor,’ Jake mused. ‘My guess is they took it out of the building. Ooh, Bill getting stuck in the window must have been a distraction!’

Amy grabbed the mouse from him. ‘Where _is_ Bill, anyway?’ She started clicking through, but saw no sign of him.

‘Luckily,’ Jake said, ‘I put a tracker on his phone.’

‘_Why_?’

‘Halloween Heist of 2016, just in case I needed it one day. I figured he’d be around a lot.’ He pulled his phone out, fiddled around until a street map came up with an orange dot moving a few blocks away. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘We can get there before Terry does.’

They got out of the building without anyone seeing them, and Jake knew a shortcut down an alleyway. Amy didn’t ask why he was letting her tag along. Although maybe she should – maybe this was some kind of trick.

‘Which way now?’ she said.

Jake looked at his phone. ‘Damnit!’ The orange dot was gone.

They kept walking, and Amy wished she had a coat with her. ‘Why would Bill have come this way anyway?’ she said. ‘Why not take it to Shaw’s like I did when I won?’

‘Huh,’ Jake said.

‘What?’

‘I’d forgotten,’ he said. ‘When you won in 2015, you didn’t have the crown with you. It was at Shaw’s.’

‘Yeah,’ Amy said. It was odd, remembering something Jake had forgotten.

‘But you were the winner because you knew where it was.’ He turned to look at her, and she saw his mischievous grin. ‘Which means _I won in 2017_! Because I knew where the real cummerbund was!’ He whooped, punching the air with both arms. An older woman across the street frowned at them.

‘Shut _up_,’ Amy said, laughing.

‘I am the only two-time heist winner!’ Jake declared, still too loud.

Amy checked her watch: it was almost eleven. When had it got so late? ‘What are we going to do about Bill?’ she said.

‘I think we lost him,’ Jake said. ‘Maybe we should head back.’

Amy looked around them. ‘Where are we, anyway?’

And then she recognised the building opposite. It came back to her in a muddled mess: sitting on the roof, trying to catch peanuts in her mouth. Freaking out about something. A stakeout. A ridiculous date. A hose, and bars on the windows. An exam. _Jake_.

‘Oh,’ Amy said. ‘Oh.’

‘What’s up?’ Jake said.

‘This is where we came, isn’t it? On our first date?’

Jake beamed. ‘Yes!’

She remembered losing that bet to Jake, coming here in the dark and goofing around. She remembered how good it felt when they weren’t arguing or trying to be better than each other, remembered how much _fun_ they had together.

She remembered coming back three years later, getting a hundred and two percent on her practice Sargent’s exam, remembered thinking _what if I ruin what I have with Jake. _Remembered how he had done everything he could to help her that day: helping her study, putting up with her when she stressed out, running around the city trying to find her.

Jake would do anything for her. He had proven that over and over again. And she would do the same for him: she had shot him to save his life, condoned his possession of a phone in prison just so they could talk, put her career on the line because she was scared it would risk their relationship.

And she remembered him Die Harding off the roof. God, he was a dumbass sometimes. And Amy loved him so freaking much.

‘Can we go up?’

For a moment she thought he would say no, would want to go back to work, but he just grinned and said, ‘We totally can.’

Amy took his hand and they snuck into the building, up the stairs, out onto the roof. She felt light, giddy. Drunk, even though she wasn’t. Six years younger, even though she wasn’t that either. In love, though. For realz.

The roof looked the same – the same as she _remembered_. Nondescript, but special. She led Jake over to where they had sat and thrown peanuts at each other all those years ago, her hand still in his, and she knew what she was going to do.

‘I have to tell you something,’ she said.

Jake smiled, bemused but happy. ‘Yeah?’

‘I’m…’ Amy had forgotten to sit down. She had forgotten to plan what she was going to say. But she remembered the things that were important. ‘Jake. I’m pregnant.’

Jake froze, his smile stuck in place. ‘What?’ he said, quietly. ‘How? We’ve been using condoms.’

‘Condoms are only ninety-seven percent effective.’

‘They _are_? Why do people use them?’

‘I think it must have been when we were drunk,’ Amy said. ‘User error.’

‘That’s so stupid,’ Jake said. And then, ‘Holy shit. Holy shit, Ames.’

‘I know,’ Amy said, and then with no warning she was crying, and Jake was holding her, and he was crying into her hair.

‘Oh my god,’ Jake said, his voice muffled.

‘Yeah.’

Jake pulled back suddenly, holding her at arms’ length. His face was wet with tears as he looked at her seriously. ‘If you’re not ready,’ he said. ‘You don’t have to keep it. I promise, I won’t try and pressure you to-’

‘I’m gonna keep it,’ Amy said. ‘I love you.’

Jake’s face broke into another grin. ‘I love you too. Are you sure? I mean, for realz? I mean, you don’t have to.’

‘I want to,’ Amy said. ‘I don’t remember everything, but I remember enough. I want this.’

‘This is such bad timing, though,’ Jake said.

‘I know,’ Amy said. ‘I know. But you can get through anything if you’re with the right person.’

‘And you, Amy Santiago-Peralta,’ Jake finished. ‘Are the right person for me.’

And maybe the timing was awful, and maybe so much of this situation was out of their control, but right now Amy couldn’t imagine anyone she would rather have at her side than Jake Peralta. Jake, who would choose spending time with her over a heist. Jake, who could cook. Jake, who had been happy to move into her apartment. Jake, who had always known she would end up as his boss one day. Jake, who had visited her in the hospital every day when she didn’t remember what he meant to her. Jake, who loved her.

Amy laughed, even though she was sort of still crying. ‘We’re having a baby,’ she said.

‘We _are_.’ Jake dipped his head and kissed her slowly. She held him close and they stayed like that for a while, just being with each other.

‘You know this doesn't mean we’re going back to normal, right?’ Amy said, when they broke apart. ‘I’m not the same as I was before the accident.’

‘That’s okay,’ Jake said. ‘Neither am I.’

‘I want you to come live with me again, though,’ she added. ‘Our apartment doesn’t feel right without you.’

They sat down then, where they had sat on their first date. Which hadn’t even really been a date, just the result of a stupid bet, but in the end it had meant everything. Jake pulled Amy close against his side, hand toying with the hem of her top and then sliding up under it.

‘God, that’s so cold,’ she said, laughing.

‘Sorry.’ He pressed a flat hand against her stomach.

‘I don’t think you can tell yet,’ she said.

‘I can tell.’ She could hear him smiling.

‘I was scared someone was going to hit me in the stomach or something during the heist,’ Amy said.

‘That probably wasn’t an issue,’ Jake said. ‘I don’t think anyone’s forgotten your accident.’

Amy laughed. ‘Except _me_.’

‘Oh jeez,’ Jake said. ‘Sorry. Forget I said anything. Fuck!’ He started laughing as well.

Eventually they walked back towards the precinct together, hand in hand.

‘We should get some more stuff for the nursery,’ Jake said. He was practically bouncing with excitement. ‘Some curtains with ducks on.’

‘Why ducks?’

‘Because it would be _adorable_?’ he said. ‘Ooh, and we can get some of those tiny sneakers!’

Amy shook her head, laughing. ‘Slow down,’ she said.

‘Right,’ he said. ‘Right, anything could happen. As we know.’ But he was still grinning.

‘Did we have any baby name ideas?’ she said.

‘There’s a list in your baby binder,’ Jake said.

‘I haven’t looked at it.’

‘You were very keen on Nakatomi,’ Jake said. ‘Or Holly.’

‘No I wasn’t,’ Amy said.

Jake laughed. ‘Worth a try.’

‘Didn’t I dress up as Holly Genaro once?’ Amy said. ‘For sexy reasons? Wouldn’t it be weird to name our daughter after her?’

‘That’s what you said before,’ Jake said, laughing. ‘But I stand by it! Any _Die Hard_ reference is a good _Die Hard_ reference.’

‘Our baby’s name is _not_ going to be a _Die Hard_ reference,’ Amy said, but she couldn’t held laughing too.

‘Okay, _what if_ we have a _second_ kid and name it after Melvil Dewey? Or, like, whoever invented binders?’

‘Why don’t we just name it after something we both like?’

‘Raymond Peralta-Santiago,’ Jake mused. ‘I like it.’

‘We _can’t_ name our kid after the Captain,’ Amy said. ‘Can we?’

‘Everyone else would feel left out!’ Jake said. ‘But also, now that I’ve thought of it I kinda want to name our kid Raymond.’

‘The surname’s going to be Santiago-Peralta, though,’ Amy said. ‘It sounds better.’

‘I love you,’ Jake said. Like that was an answer. Like that was the best answer.

‘I love you too.’

When they got to Shaw’s, everything was in chaos.

‘What’s going on?’ Amy said to Rosa. ‘Who won?’

‘Ugh,’ she said. ‘Everyone fucked up and went to the wrong place. Scully and Hitchcock got Cheeto dust all over my passport.’

Amy saw them then: Scully was wearing the plastic crown, and Hitchcock was wearing the cape over his poncho.

‘Oh god,’ she said. ‘They’re the ultimate humans-slash-geniuses?’

‘Yup,’ Rosa said, grimly.

‘Well,’ Jake said. ‘This heist thing is a disaster and I regret starting it. Drink?’

‘Orange soda, please,’ Amy said.

‘That’s my girl.’

Rosa scrutinised Amy. ‘You look happy.’

‘Yeah,’ Amy said, grinning. She looked around at her friends, her family. Gina, still pretty out of it, leaning her head on Charles’ shoulder. Terry, crushing Bill in an arm wresting match. Holt, shooting Scully and Hitchcock a look of disgust. ‘I made my decision.’

‘Good,’ Rosa said. She glanced at Jake, over at the bar. ‘I knew you two would be fine. You’re America’s dream couple.’

Amy made a face. ‘You sound like Charles.’

Rosa gave one of her rare smiles. ‘I know. Don’t tell him I said that. Also, I don’t know if I said it before, but congratulations.’

‘Thank you.’ Amy thought about the new life growing inside her: a future for her and Jake, to go with their past. And she still couldn’t remember everything – maybe she never would – but she had new memories to make. Tonight, Jake was going to come back to their apartment. This weekend, Amy was going to look for a new car. Soon there would be doctors’ appointments and sonograms, and they would finally open that yellow paint and decorate the nursery.

Rosa went to sit with the others but Amy paused for a moment, taking it in, listening to the song playing over the bar’s speakers. _Two weeks without you and I still haven't gotten over you yet. _Jake came back over with two orange sodas. Amy wasn’t sure if it was an early pregnancy craving or if her taste buds were just out of whack in 2020, but she had really been enjoying it recently.

‘This song should have been on your mix tape,’ she said. ‘_Casecation, all I ever wanted_.’

Jake grinned and kissed her. ‘I see you remember all the most important things, my dope singing included.’

‘Did you know today is also Spouses’ Day?’ Amy said.

‘It is? That’s way better than Australia Day!’

Amy held up her soda. ‘To us?’

Jake tapped his can against hers. ‘To us.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and for all the fantastic comments along the way! I definitely wouldn't have finished this without them but I'm glad I did. (BTW, the song mentioned is Vacation by the Go-Go's, because I forgot about it when I wrote the mix tape chapter)


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